


Hopeless Wanderer—-hiatus

by captainsourwolf



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Alternate Universes, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Infidelity, Lots of Angst, M/M, Multiple Universes, Pining, Sex, idk how to tag this properly, lots of pining, this is inspired by past lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2020-12-17 13:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21055298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainsourwolf/pseuds/captainsourwolf
Summary: The sign hanging over the tent flap is bright, almost garish in its display, but appealing enough that it demands attention. Link is standing there staring at it while he waits for Rhett to catch up. He reads the sign, a smirk drawing up his lips at the absurdity of it.Access the memories of your past today! You’ll never know unless you take a leap of faith and join me on your journey to the past!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first love before none like this came along. it is loosely inspired by the song circles by post malone because i get major AU vibes from the song/video.
> 
> this is being beta'd by sass! hi sass! so thank you dear.
> 
> this is inspired also by past lives/alternate universes. i love rhett's enthusiasm about them and it is a fascinating topic. i got information from a website called gaia.com
> 
> rating will change when it needs to so for now it’ll stay at teen and up. I’ll give a warning when it changes.
> 
> and thanks to em for her constant encouragement and enthusiasm for this fic. im really excited about it and hope y'all will be too!
> 
> *title is from the song hopeless wanderer by mumford & sons

The sign hanging over the tent flap is bright, almost garish in its display, but appealing enough that it demands attention. Link is standing there staring at it while he waits for Rhett to catch up. He reads the sign, a smirk drawing up his lips at the absurdity of it.

_Access the memories of your past today! You’ll never know unless you take a leap of faith and join me on your journey to the past!_

“What’cha lookin’ at?”

Link jumps slightly as Rhett comes up behind him, his voice startling him. He laughs and points to the sign above. He doesn’t have to look to know Rhett has turned his attention to the sign.

“Bullshit,” Link says with a grin. Rhett chuckles beside him.

“Let’s do it! Bullshit and all,” Rhett jokes. Link glances over at him, his grin fading slightly at the expression on Rhett’s face. He’s serious but trying to look like he’s just joking, just poking fun at something so absurd. Link frowns until Rhett starts grinning at him. “Come on, man, it might be fun. Be a good story to write home about at least.”

Link raises his shoulders in a small shrug. He looks away from Rhett’s face and back at the sign. The color of it is loud, bright purple text overlaid on a rainbow background. The words are bold and eye-catching; making it almost difficult to not stop and stare. There are a few symbols, along with a couple of names and phone numbers, in the same purple font in the corners. The tent itself is a muted and dirty red color, blending in with the rest of the carnival attractions.

The decision to come tonight was an easy one. Rhett had come bursting into their shared hotel room earlier in the day with a flier in his hand, almost giddy with excitement as he bounded to Link, showing him the flyer for the carnival. Link couldn’t say no when Rhett was excited about something. He was spouting off the different attractions the flier advertised while Link listened and, after a couple of minutes, Link was agreeing with a grin and a “Calm down, man!”

Link knew part of the reason they came was for the nostalgia. They grew up in a small town like this one, going to similar fairs and rodeos and an assortment of events. But a fair in Los Angeles was a lot more flashy than the ones they grew up with. This one has classic tents, laughter and bright lights, children running around screaming about the cool ride they just braved; the ones in L.A. boast with flashy lights and trendy groups of people too cool to ride anything or play games. It makes them both miss home a little bit more than usual. So Link had agreed to go and within an hour they were ready and lining up for tickets. They bought their fair share of tickets to spend; it didn’t take long for them burn through them and go on the search for food.

That’s how Link found himself standing in front of the tent. Rhett was throwing his trash away while Link was drawn in by the brightly colored letters and rainbow background. But if he were being completely honest, he felt a certain pull to it. Almost like something was telling him to check it out. He wouldn’t admit that to Rhett.

“I bet I was a cowboy once,” Rhett says. Link shrugs his shoulders again and Rhett nudges his side. “I bet you were like, a zookeeper or somethin’.” Link lets out a surprised laugh.

“Or somethin’,” he repeats. Rhett’s fascination with alternate universes and past lives and conspiracy theories always intrigued Link. 

Rhett sighs next to him. Link knows he wants to go in, is practically vibrating with the curiosity it brings. He’s rocking on the balls of his feet like he’s a child begging for permission to ride the big rides instead of the tea cups. Link resigns himself to the fact that he’s going to do this, especially if it satisfies Rhett’s curiosity.

Link audibly sighs and gestures to the tent’s opening. He watches Rhett’s face light up as he grabs Link by the wrist and pulls him inside.

The inside is cooler than Link expected. Candles give off a soft glow around the space and a small speaker in the corner plays peaceful music. The center of the tent hosts an assortment of mats and pillows, and beyond that a woman sits at a table, hands folded in front of her like she was expecting them. Rhett lets out a soft “wow” and drops his hand from Link’s wrist.

“Yeah,” he agrees. This isn’t what he was expecting to see. He was expecting cheesy music and more loud colors and maybe even a crystal ball. He wasn’t ready to see _this_. It’s calming, relaxing; almost inviting in a way that makes Link’s nerves tingle with curiosity and that nagging feeling that he’s supposed to be here grows persistent. He pushes it back, clearly losing his mind after spending the evening running around after Rhett. 

The woman sitting at the table is a petite redhead and wearing what looks to be a tunic made of patterned material. She smiles at them, warm and welcoming.

“Hello, gentleman,” she greets. Rhett waves and smiles back. Link just stands there staring. “I know what you’re here for. Come in further, no need to be apprehensive. I’m Maya.” She makes a gesture for them to come closer. Out of the corner of his eye, Link sees Rhett take a few steps further into the tent, telling her their names as he goes. Link stays where he is. He listens as Maya gives a speech about past lives and alternate universes, how we can access them with the right settings and peacefulness. Link keeps his amusement to himself.

“So what do we do now?” Rhett asks.

“Come, sit on the floor.” Rhett follows suit almost immediately. Link hesitates but follows Rhett’s direction and sits in the middle of the mats and pillows. He tries to smile, show how much this amuses him, but he’s finding it difficult. Something doesn’t sit right with him on this all of a sudden.

Maya gets up, joining them on the floor, and sitting delicately between them. She guides both of them to lay back on the pillows. Link rolls his shoulders and neck, trying to get comfortable with a strange woman and his best friend beside him in an unfamiliar place. The setting reminds him of an episode of the show, where they tried to make themselves hallucinate. He felt silly then just as he feels silly now. Finally, with his hands folded on his stomach, he settles and waits. Rhett puffs out a breath of air next to him.

Link turns his head to the side and almost laughs at how relaxed Rhett seems to be. His hands are resting at his side and his face is slack, eyes closed. Link feels a cool hand touch his forearm. He shifts his focus to Maya and sees that she’s smiling softly at him.

“Don’t worry. It will all work out.” She removes her hand from his arm and closes her eyes. Link stares at her, startled for a moment. “Now, follow my breathing and repeat after me.” 

Link closes his eyes. He can hear Rhett next to him following the same breathing pattern as Maya. Hers is slow and easy; Rhett’s is as well. Link does the same and immediately feels a little more relaxed. He could easily fall asleep like this.

“Imagine a soft, warm light enveloping you,” Maya starts. “Let it completely take over, starting at your toes and moving across your body until it reaches your head. Feel its warmth.” Link rolls his eyes under his lids, but can’t deny he’s getting deeper and deeper into a relaxed position. Rhett heaves a deep, guttural sigh. Link wants to laugh again but doesn’t.

Maya is still speaking softly. Link can feel himself drifting, that warm light starting to envelope him. His head rolls to the side and he can hear Rhett breathing heavily, as if he’s in a deep sleep. Link’s hands slowly start to slip until they’re by his side; he’s vaguely aware that his left hand is touching Rhett’s right.

“Now concentrate,” Maya says quietly. “Let your body surrender and your mind take you back.”

Link sighs and lets his mind start to wander as his body completely relaxes. He can see a white light beginning to spread out across his eyelids, its glow welcoming him deeper.

And then he’s gone, the tent, fair, Maya and Rhett fading away.

*

When Link comes to, he does it slowly. His eyelids feel heavy and his limbs heavier, but he manages to crack his eyes open one at a time and raise a hand to rub at them under his glasses.

The hallway he’s standing in is a bright, almost blinding, white. Both sides are blank, void of color or decoration. He stares, not sure what he’s supposed to be doing. So he starts walking. The hallway seems to stretch out in front of him getting longer and longer. But eventually he sees something towering ahead of him.

There’s a door. It’s a dark mahogany in color, wooden and solid and _intricate_. It reminds him of the door in The Lord of the Rings. He would laugh but the moment doesn’t seem appropriate. The detailing on the door is beautiful. Carved on it is a tree with many branches, some of them small and blooming with many flowers; others long and winding, twisting between the smaller ones and around the trunk of the tree. The knob is a big brass one, bold in the bright whiteness of the room. 

His fingers itch to grab the knob and twist. He stops, considering, glancing over his shoulder at the emptiness behind him. He could always go back, but he’s made it this far already. The door is enticing and what may lie behind it even more so. He tentatively reaches out; it’s cold beneath his fingertips. The temperature shocks him and he jerks his hand back. 

This is _crazy_. 

Link swallows thickly. His fingers twitch towards the knob and wrap around it. He steels himself for what could be behind the door as he twists the knob. There’s a soft click as the door unlatches and swings open about an inch. Link doesn’t let go. He inhales quickly and on the exhale pushes the door open all the way; it’s not as heavy as he expected. 

First, Link sees nothing. He frowns into the darkness, a stark contrast against the white hallway behind him. He waves a hand in the room. He’s almost afraid of what he might encounter. The dark entices him just as the door did, but when he looks below his feet he sees nothing but more emptiness. He wiggles his toes in his shoes, rocks back on them for a brief moment as he figures out what to do next, then takes several tentative steps into the emptiness, finds himself surprised that he’s not falling into the dark pit below his feet.

Suddenly the emptiness begins to fill. At first it’s nothing; a few colors mingling together and morphing into an imperceptible image. It quickly morphs into a solid but fuzzy picture in front of him and he’s drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Link takes one step, then another, then another until he’s standing a mere few inches away. The image continues to shift into focus, clearly becoming something recognizable. He freezes when he sees Rhett’s face in front of him. It’s as clear as day and huge, filling up the void, creating a scene that threatens to swallow him whole. 

Link reaches out to touch, wonders if he even can, and when his fingertips land on Rhett’s face he flinches. His hand goes all the way through the image and finds nothing on the other side. He frowns. Rhett’s smiling at him, huge above him, and it’s so real Link can’t process it. He keeps trying to grasp at something but keeps coming back empty handed. 

Suddenly the image pulses, or something. Link doesn’t know how to describe it to himself, so he resigns to watching it happen. It continuously throbs for a few seconds and just as suddenly as it started, it stops. Link frowns again. He reaches his hand out for another try and this time the image flickers and Link is being transported. It’s sickening and makes his head spin and when he stops he’s still on his feet, staring at Rhett standing at a…_a fruit stand_?

Link blinks in surprise. This is a familiar scene, one he’s encountered many times before with their combined families on a sunny Saturday afternoon, strolling through the local farmer’s market. He’s watched Rhett be picky about the fruit at the stand, tossing different types of fruit this way and that many times. But this is different. He looks around and is surprised to see himself standing at a booth of colorful fabrics. 

This…this isn’t right. This is different from what he's used to, what he’s already experienced many times in his life. Link starts walking towards Rhett, then stops when Rhett raises his head and looks directly at him. Only he’s not looking at _Link_ Link, he’s looking at the other Link. The one picking through multi-patterned and brightly colored fabrics a few feet away. 

Link turns and watches himself. There’s a shift in his chest and he’s looking at the fabric currently in his hand, confused. He stares at it. His mind starts to accept the fact that he’s here, now, worrying a purple scarf between his fingers. 

_There’s a slight breeze blowing his hair around. A piece keeps getting stuck behind the lens of his glasses. It’s really annoying. He pushes it away from his face and runs his fingers through his hair, mussing it up and back into place. He sighs. Which one does he get? His mom likes purple, but she doesn’t like scarves. The other options include a patterned shawl in different colors and a blanket in a solid deep red._

_Link is so engrossed in his decision making he almost misses the shadow coming up next to him. It’s a tall shadow with long arms and long legs and messy hair. He looks up and sees another man, grinning at him. Link laughs._

_“Hey, Rhett,” he waves. Rhett waves back._

_Link met Rhett four Saturdays ago at this very stand. He was starting to think about what to get for his mom’s birthday when a shadow suddenly covered over him, blocking the harsh sunlight. He was met with Rhett’s smile and beard and pretty green eyes. Every Saturday since, Rhett has met him at this spot, an apple in hand and a smile on his face._

_“Still can’t decide?” Rhett asked, indicating the purple scarf in Link’s hand. Link shakes his head. Rhett takes the scarf from him and wraps it around himself._

_“Put it down, Rhett,” Link hisses. The lady who runs the stand is sweet and southern, but she’s particular about the goods she’s trying to sell. He bats at Rhett’s hand until the other man is laughing and removes the scarf. _

__“Is your mom really this picky, or just you?” Rhett is teasing him. Link blushes and if anybody asks it’s the heat of the day making his skin flush. He shuffles his feet back and forth, pushes his glasses up his nose._ _

__

__

_“She’s been having a hard time since my stepdad left and with her birthday coming up, I just…” He shrugs one shoulder. Rhett nods his head in understanding._

_“You want it to be special.” He smiles brightly at Link. Then, expression shifting, he reaches around Link for something on the table. Link suppresses a shudder at the closeness. He smells good; clean and like…like the woods, almost. Link rolls his eyes at himself._

_When Rhett pulls back he has a folded blanket in his hand. It’s not the deep red one Link has been mulling over, but instead it’s a soft, muted cream. There’s a fringe around the edges of the blanket and when Link touches it he smiles at the coziness of it. The fabric lady as he’s come to know her hand sews everything she sells, so everything is one of a kind. Link takes it from Rhett and their fingers brush lightly._

_Link jerks his hand back at the shock that goes through his arm. Rhett must’ve felt it too because he jerks his hand away as well, wide-eyed as he stares at Link. Link clears his throat after a charged moment and pulls his wallet out of his back pocket to pay for the blanket. Fabric lady is staring at them with a fond expression on her face._

_“Uh, well, I guess I’ll see you next Saturday,” Link says hastily as he takes his change from her hand._

_Rhett stops him from basically running away with a hand on Link’s elbow. Link stops in his tracks and looks at him nervously. Rhett smiles down at him. “What if,” he starts. Link swallows. “What if you see me tonight?”_

_Link grins up at him. “Sounds nice.”_


	2. Chapter 2

The return to an empty room is silent and quick. Link shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s so confused about this, but is intrigued all the same. He rolls his shoulders and shakes it off, looks around the room waiting for something else to happen. All of this makes no sense; his mind can’t shake the feeling this is all going to end badly, but there’s a part of him that wants to see where it all goes.

There’s another image forming. It’s blurry and dark, nothing like the previous one which was bright and happy and full of color. It comes together quickly this time and sharpens in front of him. Link frowns at the moody the scene before him.

Rhett’s above him, just as huge and all-consuming as the first scene. Link reaches out and tries to touch once more. Maybe this time he’ll feel something….

That shifting feeling starts in his chest and he’s suddenly surrounded by the image, before he’s standing in his own body in the rain. It’s pouring wherever he’s at. He squints and glances around, eyes searching for Rhett. He finally finds him; the other man is leaning against a door frame, umbrella in hand.

_Link shivers. It’s freezing out here in the rain, in the middle of winter in North Carolina, and he curses his luck for forgetting his umbrella. His sweater was soaked within a couple of minutes after stepping outside of the grocery store. He glances around until he sees a covered stoop, but there’s another person standing there taking up space. The building next to it is covered with an awning that’s dipping dangerously with the amount of rain water pooling in it._

_Looking up and down the street, he groans and bolts across the empty crosswalk to the stoop, brown paper bag clutched tightly against his chest. The other guy standing there grunts in surprise when Link shoulders in unceremoniously. Link audibly sighs at being out of the rain and shakes his hair out. Water droplets fly every which way. He sets the bag down and shakes off his sleeves._

_“Uhh, hey, man,” says a gruff voice._

_Link jumps. He looks up at the other guy’s face and into a dirty blonde beard, green eyes, and unruly hair that goes up. He’s not angry or annoyed it seems; he looks amused more than anything. Link grins. “Sorry, I’m taking up your stoop.” He shivers again. “I forgot my umbrella,” he says as he gestures at the simple black one the other guy is holding on to._

_“I noticed. I’m Rhett.” He extends an arm towards Link. Link takes it and gives it a good shake, his cold hand warming up in the other man’s grip._

_“Link,” he responds. The hand in his is warm and big and closes around his own completely; he can feel calluses barely brushing against his wrist and starts to wonder what they’re from. There’s an eyebrow raise when he says his name. “Family name is Charles Lincoln, but everyone calls me Link. It’s what I prefer.”_

_Rhett smiles big and broad. His cheeks puff up and turn pink. Link likes it. He likes it a lot. Swallowing, he looks out from under the stoop at the sky. It’s still dark and cloudy and raining heavily. “I hope this ends soon. I’m late enough as it is.” He chews on his bottom lip in thought. He’d planned this date two weeks ago with his girlfriend. She was sweet about his work schedule and understanding and just all around a nice person to be with. He came to the store to pick up their favorite bottle of wine, in a hurry after an unscheduled phone call with work, and the umbrella went unnoticed as he rushed out the door._

_Now he’s wet and shivering and running out of time to go home and get ready. She’ll be there in less than hour and if Link isn’t there, she’ll be left alone outside. He can feel Rhett’s gaze on him. When he looks, he can see Rhett staring hard, eyes shining and grin still on his lips. Link swallows against a lump forming in his throat._

_He looks away quickly._

_“What’cha late for? If you don’t mind my asking,” Rhett says hastily. He starts to tap the umbrella against the cement step below them._

_“Date with my girlfriend. The rain and a phone call kinda put a kink in my schedule.” Link shrugs and scuffs the toe of his shoe on the ground. A sudden shiver wracks through his body. He wraps his arms around himself and rubs his hands up and down, creating friction with his wet sleeves. “Geez, it’s freezing out here!”_

_Link bounces on his toes as he watches the rain. Rhett clears his throat next to him loudly. “Here,” he says. Link turns his attention to Rhett, eyes going wide when he sees Rhett taking his jacket off. Underneath is a cozy looking sweater with cactuses on it. It looks soft and warm. “Take this.” Waiting, Rhett holds the jacket out to Link._

_“I…I can’t, you’ll be cold now.” Link shakes his head and rejects the garment. Rhett is persistent and pushes the jacket towards Link._

_The other man shrugs. “I have my sweater,” he says and gestures to said sweater. “Please, take it. You’re cold and your top is soaked through.” Link considers it for a moment, before nodding his head and taking it. He slips it on, arms a little long on him, but overall fitting just right around his torso. It’s still warm with Rhett’s body heat._

_“Thanks,” he murmurs. He should find it strange that he’s accepting a jacket from a stranger. Granted, it’s a handsome stranger and they’ve been talking for a few minutes now, but still, a stranger nonetheless. He smiles at Rhett and Rhett is smiling back, cheeks puffed up once more._

_“So tell me about her. Looks like we’ll be stuck here together for a few more minutes.” Rhett leans casually against the brick wall behind him. He props his umbrella up and crosses his arms across his chest. Link tries not to notice how the move pulls the sweater across the other man’s torso. “She’s gotta be great for a man to be out in freezing rain for…?”_

_“Wine,” Link replies as he points to the drying paper bag at their feet. Rhett waggles his eyebrows, causing Link to laugh in delight. Rhett makes a ‘go on’ gesture and waits silently. “She’s, uh, well, she’s great.”_

_Link continues to describe her to Rhett, a total stranger, who’s watching him talk and gesture like it’s the most interesting thing he’s heard in a while. He talks about her pretty smile and her pretty eyes and her pretty blonde hair that’s shiny in the sunlight. Talking about her makes his chest feel tight and his smile big. Rhett is still watching intently, not speaking._

_He stutters when Rhett licks his lips and shifts his weight from foot to foot. The other man must not notice as Link continues like nothing happened. He’s suddenly nervous and jittery as he talks. It’s unsettling the way Rhett continues to stare, occasionally nodding along or biting his bottom lip or scratching at his beard._

_Realizing his cheeks are hot from blushing so hard, Link finishes up and rocks on his toes, swallowing thickly. Rhett’s still staring. He clears his throat, waits impatiently for Rhett to say something._

_Finally, Rhett nods once and straightens up. It’s then Link realizes that the rain has stopped. The clouds are rolling away and the sun is beginning to shine. Link snatches his phone out of his pocket, sees the time, and curses loudly. A few minutes of rain turned into a twenty minute one-sided conversation while the weather cleared up. He shoves the phone back into his pocket and hastily gathers up the paper bag with the wine in it._

_Grabbing the umbrella, Rhett stands up straighter. Link isn’t sure if he should just leave or if they should exchange numbers or if….he doesn’t know. There’s a tight feeling in his chest as he hovers between leaving and staying a little while longer. He’s unsure under Rhett’s intense gaze._

_“Um, well,” he stutters. Link drops his eyes to the bag in his hands._

_Rhett sticks his free hand out. Link grabs it, shudders at the warmth it holds, and shakes it quickly. “It was nice to meet you, Link. Have fun on your date.” Rhett smiles but Link can tell it’s a forced one._

_Link lets go of Rhett’s hand slowly. He’s finding himself wanting to stay, wanting to keep holding on to Rhett’s hand, wanting to keep talking to him. It’s nice and it scares him a little._

_“Nice to meet you, Rhett.” Link hops off the stoop and into a puddle of water. It splashes everywhere, including on Rhett, and Link laughs to lighten the intense atmosphere. “Thanks for sharing your stoop with me.” He turns to wave and smile._

_Rhett smiles back and lifts his hand in a quick goodbye. Then Link is gone._

_It isn’t until Link is home and running through the door that he realizes he’s still wearing Rhett’s jacket. He shrugs it off quickly after setting the wine down. It’s damp now after wearing it over his soaked sweater so he hangs it up by the door, hoping his girlfriend doesn’t notice and start asking questions. It gives him some type of feeling seeing that jacket hanging there. Link shivers and goes to take a shower._

_Later, when he’s telling her goodbye and kissing her cheek, he catches a glimpse of the jacket. She’s saying her goodbyes and asking about another night he has free but he’s not listening. His chest tightens. It’s unexpected and leaves him itching to talk to a stranger._

_“Call me tomorrow?”_

_Link blinks rapidly. “Huh?”_

_She giggles and kisses his cheek again. “Get some rest. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She hugs him once then walks out the door. Link closes it behind her and locks it._

_For the rest of the night, all he can think about is that jacket._

*

Link gasps as he comes back this time. It’s a rushing feeling that leaves him flailing his arms wildly, but he remembers fast that there’s a solid surface beneath his feet; he won’t fall. 

“What the hell?” He mutters. He rakes a hand through his hair and sighs. 

There’s a creeping feeling on the edge of his consciousness. He can hear soft music playing and feel cool air brushing his skin, all of it on the edge and barely there, as what feels like a hand bumps into his. His nerves are…are _itching_. This is unsettling and unexpected but he knows he wants to see more. He takes a shuddering breath to help settle some of the nerves and confusion. 

The next image is of the both of them. It’s clear and soft in focus as they smile at each other. Link is intrigued. He’s curious to know why he keeps seeing all these scenes of he and Rhett, of his best friend, in places that are familiar yet he’s never been there in those moments. These are brand new moments, moments that feel like memories. He has a vague sense of déjà vu creeping in.

Eager to see what’s next, Link reaches out and is transported to the next memory.

_Link is sitting in a booth, Rhett beside him. They’re both laughing at something someone else has said. The restaurant they’re in is softly lit and music is playing in the background. Rhett’s knee is sneakily pressed against his thigh under the white table cloth._

_Jessie has her head thrown back across from them, laughing loudly as Christy tells a joke she heard at the gym that morning. Her hair is pulled back in a neat bun and she’s dressed to impress in a classy black dress. Jessie looks just as beautiful sitting next to her._

_A waiter approaches their table with a silver tray filled with food. Link waits to dig in until everything is set down. As he waits, he can feel Rhett’s knee pressing harder into his thigh. It sends a shiver up his spine. He clears his throat and quickly glances at Rhett out of the corner of his eye._

_Rhett grins at him, hiding it under the guise of laughing at a funny joke. Link pulls his food in front of him and digs in as an excuse to not look at his best friend. The entire time he’s eating, Rhett is knocking his knee into Link. He’s the only one that can feel it but he swears the whole table must be able to tell what they’re doing. He peeks at Christy and Jessie, but they’re turned towards each other and enjoying their food, having their own light hearted conversation._

_Link reaches under the table cloth and lays his hand on the top of Rhett’s leg. He doesn’t look at him, just takes a bite of his food as he starts to slide his hand up, up, up until his fingertips ghost over Rhett’s crotch. Rhett’s inhale of breath and sudden knee jerk into the underside of the table is enough to have Jessie look their way. She scrunches her nose up at them._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_Rhett puffs out a laugh. “I swallowed my food wrong,” he replies and hits his chest, fake coughing to cover up the inhale._

_“If you say so,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. She turns her attention back to Christy and picks up the conversation._

_Link hides his laugh behind his napkin. He removes his hand and places it on top of the table. Rhett glares at him, stepping on his foot in retaliation. Link gasps in surprise then covers it with a cough._

_“Okay,” Christy laughs, “What’s going on over there?” She grins at the two of them._

_“Oh, Christy,” Jessie giggles, “you know they’ve been excited about this promotion all week long. Link can’t help but be happy for his BFF.” She waggles her eyebrows at Link._

_Link blushes. “Sorry, ladies.” He takes another bite of his food while the three of them laugh at him._

_“You’re fine, honey. We know ya’ll are excited. That’s why we’re here, all fancy and dressed up like adults,” Christy says. Link can see the flush rising in her cheeks from the wine she’s been drinking. “No need to hide how happy you are for Rhett. We’re all happy for him!”_

_Rhett leans across the table to kiss her cheek. Link rolls his eyes but smiles anyway. He twirls his food around his fork, pushes it around his plate. She was right; they were happy this week. Rhett got a promotion at work, a big one, and to celebrate they all agreed to a double date. The grandparents got the kids to themselves for the evening and the adults got each other. But Link didn’t want to celebrate just the four of them. He wanted to celebrate just the two of them._

_When Rhett had suggested they all go out the night before, he and Jessie with Link and Christy, Link had to fake smile through the whole conversation. He should feel horrible, but he doesn’t. He should be ashamed, but he isn’t. Rhett saw right through him and later, when they convinced the wives to take the kids for ice cream, Link found himself pinned against the doorway as apologetic kisses were placed all over his face._

_Link pushes his hair out of his face while Rhett sits back down in his seat. Christy is grinning at him and nudging Link’s foot under the table. He smiles back, winks to keep up the charade. She giggles and takes another sip of her wine._

_“So, Rhett, tell us,” Link begins, “what are you gonna do with all that new money you’ll be making?”_

_Rhett leans his head back and chuckles loudly. “I don’t know man,” he looks over at Jessie, “maybe take the wife out on a shopping spree, buy a new house, a new car. Who knows.” Link knows he’s playing around with both of them. Jessie is none the wiser as she sits there eating and drinking and having a good time. The way Rhett is looking at her, gaze soft and fond, has Link’s chest aching and burning._

_Link announces he needs to use the restroom. He pushes his chair back and gets up from the table a little harshly. Jessie and Christy don’t seem to notice his change in attitude. He stalks off towards the bathroom at a fast pace, and when he reaches it, he slams the door open. After it shuts behind him, he checks the stalls to see if there’s anyone else in there. Upon finding the room is empty, he locks the door._

_It’s blissfully cool in the bathroom. He didn’t realize how much he’d had to drink until now. His face in the mirror is flushed and red, his hair falling down in his face messily. He pushes his glasses up his nose and sighs._

_A knock on the door makes Link jump._

_“Link, you in there?” It’s Rhett._

_Link huffs but reaches behind him to turn the lock. He moves just enough for the door to open and Rhett to come in. He closes and locks it back before facing Link. Link shifts uncomfortably under Rhett’s gaze._

_“What?” Link asks._

_“What’s wrong, bo?” Rhett asks back. He reaches for Link, but Link steps out of reach, mouth turning down in a frown._

_“I’m just,” he falters. He doesn’t want to hurt Rhett’s feelings, he doesn’t want to hurt_ anybody’s _feelings, but this whole thing started based off of mutual attraction after they were married. It was bound to spiral into something that lead to one or the both of them getting their feelings hurt. “I’m just jealous is all. I wanted to celebrate with you, and only you.” He swallows thickly against the tears he can feel pricking his eyelids. He rubs at them harshly and digs the heels of his hands under his glasses._

_“Link, don’t—” Rhett reaches for him again. This time, Link lets him. The other man grabs Link by the lapels of his suit jacket and tugs until he’s against Rhett’s chest snugly. “Don’t be jealous. As harsh as it sounds, I’d rather be celebrating with only you, too.” Rhett kisses his forehead softly._

_“I told you this would end up hurting somebody’s feelings,” Link murmurs. He digs his fingers into Rhett’s lapels and drags him down into a kiss. It’s slow and hot and leaves him breathless. He pulls away on a gasp, Rhett pressing their foreheads together._

_“Nobody’s feelings have been hurt, yet,” Rhett whispers back._

_Link sighs heavily. “It’s bound to happen. We’re heading down a dangerous path and you know it.” He squeezes Rhett’s jacket then smooths it down, pats the material a couple of times. “I just want you tonight, not…not Christy.” He kisses Rhett’s throat. “I want to go home with you, celebrate with you, be happy with you.” His voice comes out desperate. The pinprick of tears are threatening to turn into full blown tears if he doesn’t stop._

_Instead, he stands on his toes and kisses Rhett. He slides his tongue along the seam of Rhett’s lips until the other man opens up and melts into it. They stand there kissing for what feels like forever, but is only a couple of minutes. Link sighs as he finally pulls away and straightens himself up. His hair is messier and his cheeks even more flushed so he goes to splash water on his face._

_As he’s standing at the sink, Rhett comes up behind him and wraps Link up in a big hug. He squeezes tightly. Link laughs and elbows Rhett until he’s releasing his arms and moving out of the way. He feels a little better, but not enough to ease the ache that’s forming in his chest._

_But he smiles anyway, gives Rhett one more kiss, and walks back out into the restaurant._

Link’s sucked back into the nothingness of a room. His chest aches and his eyes are watery; he feels even more on edge than he did before. He takes a few deep breaths, soothes his nerves enough to start pacing in circles. 

That feeling is still there on the borders of his consciousness. But he wants to keep going, see how many _memories? lives? universes?_ he can dredge up. So he stands there and he waits for the next one to come. He’s aware of the door looming behind him, big and solid, as he stands there waiting. The beginning of a tug in his chest causes him to inhale sharply. He has a sudden urge to look back at the door still closed behind him, but he resists it and continues looking forward. 

The next image pixelates in front of Link so he sits right there in the middle of the nothingness, black beneath him and around him, and presses on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all. i hope you're enjoying this fic like i am. it's my baby
> 
> again, thanks so much to sass for being an awesome beta and to em for all her enthusiasm. she has no idea how much i truly love it.

Link closes his eyes. He breathes deeply through his nose, lets the cool air soothe his aching chest. The urge to look at the door is lessening with each breath. He keeps his eyes closed and his breathing even and focuses instead on the new memory before him.

_There’s about an inch of snow on the ground and still piling high. It snowed flurries for several hours the night before until settling into a steady fall early this morning. The air is crisp, clean; the snow is glittering in the sunrise._

_Cup of hot chocolate in his hand, Link watches the snow fall through his kitchen window. It’s peaceful and calming. He leans against the counter as he sips the hot liquid and enjoys the quietness of the house. He was up early today for no reason other than he wanted to see the snow. It didn’t bother him to be up so early, not when there was such a calming sight outside his window._

_Link sighs. The cup in his hands is warming his cold fingers steadily. He never gets to enjoy the house this quiet, and relishes in the feeling of being alone for a quiet moment. Work has been so crazy the last few days. So when the news called for a minimum of three inches of snow, heading into a possible snowstorm that could last a couple of days, the entire town went into a frenzy and workplaces gave employees the days off. He was strictly ordered to not return until the following Monday, for which he was grateful in more ways than one._

_A click-clack of nails on the hardwood makes him smile. Jade nudges his ankle and whines for breakfast. Link sets his cup down to give Jade her good morning pat on the head before going to rummage for her breakfast. She’s impatient as he works._

_Link finishes preparing her food and sets it down for her. She immediately starts to gobble it down. Link takes his mug back and leaves her to eat her breakfast in peace. He goes to the stairs and makes his way up quietly, avoiding the creaky floor boards so he doesn’t wake anybody else._

_When he gets to the bedroom, he’s greeted by Barbara wagging her tail on the bed. She barks at him before jumping down and running up to jump on his leg and beg for morning pats. Pointing to the bed, he shushes her as he rubs her head. Her bows are a little crooked this morning so he fixes them and watches her run back into the room._

_“Barb, shhh, he’s sleeping,” Link whispers. He gulps down the last of his hot chocolate and sets the mug on the dresser by the door. The room is still mostly dark since the shades are drawn. There’s just enough sun peeking around the sides to make the body in the bed visible as Link makes his way over._

_Link crawls in one knee at a time until he’s hovering over Rhett’s body. The other man is snoring softly, face pressed into the pillow he’s hugging with one arm as he lies on his front. One leg is hanging off the side of the bed along with his other arm. Link runs a hand up Rhett’s warm bare back until he’s got his fingers in the other man’s hair. He tugs a little then scrubs his fingers through the damp curls._

_Rhett mumbles something inaudible in his sleep. Link smiles. Barbara whines at the foot of the bed and nudges at Rhett’s blankets. Link leans down to press a kiss to the back of the neck before him. It’s hot to the touch._

_“’m up,” Rhett groans. Link startles, not realizing he was stirring. He sits back on his knees and waits for Rhett to turn over onto his back. Settled, he looks up at Link with a sleepy grin._

_“You feel any better?” Link asks. The cough he gets in reply is enough of an answer. Rhett’s skin is still a sickly white, a sheen of sweat forming on his brow and upper lip. Link reaches out to feel his forehead. He winces at the fever still present. “Nope, still sick.”_

_Rhett coughs again. He moans and closes his eyes as Link goes to get a washcloth from their bathroom. He gets it as cold as possible before bringing it back and sitting next to Rhett to place the cool cloth on his forehead. Rhett leans into the touch and sighs._

_Link presses the cloth into the hot skin underneath. Jade comes into the room smacking her lips; she jumps on the bed and lies next to Barbara, watching. Rhett scooches close to Link’s side until he can get an arm around Link’s waist._

_“Don’t kiss me, you’ll get sick,” Rhett mumbles. He snuggles close while Link takes care of him. Link rubs the cloth over his face soothingly, wiping up sweat and trying to cool his feverish skin._

_“Don’t worry, I won’t kiss ya,” Link laughs. “But I will shower with you.” He smiles down at Rhett’s frown._

_“Nooo,” Rhett whines. “I’m too tired to get up. Just let me lay here and rot!” Barbara barks. This causes Rhett to laugh and laughing causes him to cough violently into Link’s t-shirt._

_Link sighs as he tosses the cloth over his shoulder. “Come on big guy. Shower time!” He maneuvers Rhett’s arms up and over his own shoulders so he can help Rhett sit up. He’s naked under the covers, something he’s always prone to do when he’s sick. Link doesn’t mind._

_Eventually, with no help from Rhett whatsoever, Link gets the other man off the bed and on his feet. They walk to the shower together where Link gets it started and helps Rhett lean against the cold shower wall; he hears a very satisfied sigh come from Rhett. He strips out of his own pajamas before stepping in and grabbing the shower head._

_“Hey, Link, betcha thought we wouldn’t be doing this until we were old and decrepit and actually needed the help,” Rhett jokes._

_Link rolls his eyes. He sprays Rhett in the face with the water. Rhett splutters through a weak laugh. “You know you love it.” He grins as he gets Rhett wet from head to toe. He grabs the loofah first and lathers it up with soap._

_Rhett grabs his wrist before Link can make contact with skin. “I do,” he whispers. Link smiles broadly. Rhett’s always been extra sweet when he’s sick; this week has been no exception. He was grateful the snow came along so he could take care of Rhett, to help him through another tough bout of a cold._

_“Good.” Link kisses his forehead. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”_

Link blinks rapidly. His skin is prickling with goosebumps along his arms and the back of his neck. Shaking his head, he rolls his shoulders around to dispel some of the tension that’s knotting up his spine. That damn door is creeping under his skin again. 

“Come on, Link, focus,” he mumbles to himself. It’s oddly quiet, save for the gentle music still playing on the edge of his consciousness. Tapping his knee, he shakes the feeling off and impatiently wills another scene to play. It takes a few seconds but another one finally presents itself. Grinning, Link reaches out to touch.

*

_It’s unseasonably warm out as Link trudges from one building to another. Slinging his backpack to the ground, he tugs at his red hoodie until it’s unzipped and he can drag it over his arms to take it off. There’s still mud on the ground from the morning’s rain and steam rising off them because of the humidity in the air. He drapes the garment over his backpack before slinging the bag on his shoulders and heading on. He’s got class in ten minutes, but he’s late and the earlier storm put him behind by several minutes._

_Link dodges puddles as he picks up speed, not noticing the group of basketball players running down the sidewalk, full speed ahead and straight towards—“Oof!” Link grunts and flails, arms swinging wildly to catch his balance. But his backpack is too heavy with all his engineering textbooks._

_Suddenly, hands are wrapping around the straps of Link’s bag. Wide eyed, he looks up into the face of one of the team members. He sees a barely there beard_—an ugly beard, he thinks—_and green eyes and a small smile and height; seriously, the guy is a giant. The hands on his straps upright him and get him back on his feet, then pat, pat, pat on Link’s shoulders._

_“Uh, thanks, man,” Link mutters. He shrugs his shoulders around until the backpack straps are situated._

_“No problem. Sorry for running into you like that,” the other guy laughs. “We just won a scrimmage game and we were excited. We’ll watch out next time.” His laugh is loud and happy and it zings through Link’s body unexpectedly._

_Link notices the other three guys standing around. One of them is spinning a basketball on his finger tip and laughing at something another said, while the third just stands there awkwardly._

_“Yeah, man, sorry ‘bout that!” The one with the ball says loudly. He reaches out a hand. Link shakes it. “I’m Gregg. This one is Patrick, and the awkward one is Matt.” Link waves to them all. He takes a glance at his watch and his eyes widen. His professor is going to kill him._

_The tall guy sticks his hand out for a shake next. “I’m Rhett. And you are?” He asks, hand hovering in the air between them expectantly. Link quickly takes it in his and is startled at the heat that zips up his veins and into his chest._

_“I’m Link,” he stutters. His cheeks flush in embarrassment. The other three guys have started heading down the sidewalk, waving their goodbyes to Link, throwing out a “Nice to meet you, Link.”_

_Rhett is grinning down at him. Link rocks on his toes awkwardly. “Same here. Uh, I need,” he swallows down the lump forming in his throat, “I need to go. My professor is going to kill me for being so late.”_

_“OH, yeah, of course.” Rhett pats him on the shoulder again. “See ya, Link!” Rhett bolts off down the sidewalk after his teammates. Link watches him go then turns and heads off on his own way._

_Link has trouble sitting through his class that afternoon. His leg keeps jittering under his desk as he taps his pen on the pages of his text book. That heat from earlier has gone, replaced by an urgent need to see that guy_—Rhett—_again. He stares out the window while his professor drones on and on and on. It’s just a buzz in the background now._

_When class is finally over, Link takes his time walking back to his dorm. His roommate has probably already left for his evening labs so he’ll have the room to himself to think. As he’s walking, avoiding puddles that still linger, he thinks. He thinks about Rhett._

_It almost feels like Link has met him before. North Carolina State is a moderately sized campus, so there is a chance they’ve run into each before, have probably seen each other at basketball games or in passing on the way to classes. But something itches at the back of mind. It’s an annoying thought that he knows this guy; has definitely met him formally before._

_“Hey, Link!”_

_Link jerks his head up. He sees a familiar stranger running towards him, backpack slung over his shoulders. He’s dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, hair done up in an on purpose mess, athletic shoes replaced with flip flops. Link waves as Rhett catches up to him and holds his fist up._

_Rolling his eyes, Link fist bumps with Rhett in greeting. “Hey, Rhett.” He smiles up at the other guy. Rhett wobbles on his heels and shoves his free hand in his pocket._

_“You on your way in or out?” Rhett asks._

_“In. Longest class of the day just ended. Professor Michaels is an—” Link is interrupted by Rhett’s surprised gasp._

_“Asshole! I know!” Rhett bursts into laughter._

_Link is surprised. “You’re an engineering student, too?” He’s nervous all of a sudden talking to Rhett. That tingling at the back of his mind is still lingering, itching at his consciousness. He grips his backpack strap until his knuckles go white._

_“Yeah, man. Second year!” Rhett pulls his hand out of his jeans and looks at his watch. “Speaking of which, I need to go. But, um…”_

_Link raises an eyebrow in response. “Yeah?” He leans forward some on his toes, hoping that Rhett is about to show interest in exchanging numbers or something. He fiddles with the strap some more and waits._

_“What dorm do you stay in? Maybe we could hang out sometime.” Rhett chews on his bottom lip as he waits for Link’s response._

_Link’s eyebrows rise in surprise. He nods emphatically and starts digging for a piece of paper out of his backpack and a pen. He writes down the name of his dorm and his room number then hands it over to Rhett. Rhett takes it eagerly, grinning from ear to ear as he shoves it in his pocket._

_“Okay, I’m really going to be late now. I’ll see you sometime?” Rhett is already walking backwards down the sidewalk in the direction of Professor Michaels’ class, waving at Link._

_Link waves back and nods his head. “Soon.” Rhett’s grin gets even bigger before he’s turning and taking off to class. Link pushes that nagging thought to the deepest parts of his mind and sighs, hoists his backpack further on his shoulders, and starts walking._


	4. Chapter 4

There’s an ever growing presence behind Link. It’s huge, towering and solid; wooden with intricate designs on it, and closed tightly. His shoulders tense as he tries not to dwell on it. That last one had his mind drifting, bringing forth an echo of something…_something_ familiar. He stands quickly to shake out his legs and pace. He does not look at the door. 

Link shoves his fingers in his hair and closes his eyes as he paces. The nothingness surrounding him is surreal and the silence deafening. His shoes don’t even make noise, even when he picks up the speed at which he’s pacing. His chest aches with that familiar feeling that’s blooming. It eats away at his nerves and his lungs and his skin; the hair on his arms stand. 

“What the crap, what the crap, _what the crap_,” he whispers to nobody. 

Breathing deeply, Link stops moving back and forth and finally looks at the door. It pops open just a miniscule amount, but it’s enough for that bright white light of the hallway to peek in. Link chews on his lip in thought. He could open it and leave, _wake up_, go home to his friends and his family and pretend like none of this has happened. But it’s too intoxicating watching his life that’s _not his life_ play out before him. He desperately wants to see where it leads. 

“Go home, Link,” he grumbles. He knows there’s someone waiting for him at the end of the hallway, can feel their fingers still bumping against his. 

As suddenly as the thought comes, it goes. He spins away from the door and sits back down just in time for another scene coming into focus. 

_It’s the first day of first grade. Link is ecstatic as he stands on the curb with his momma waiting on the bus. He’s dressed in his best clothes and shoes, his brand new backpack is resting over his shoulders, and his hair is brushed perfectly. He grins up at his mom; she’s so happy and he is too._

_The bus rumbles around the corner after what seems like a lifetime. Link bounces on his toes and his mom squeezes his hand lovingly. The vehicle comes to a squealing halt by their mailbox and, when the doors open, Link drops his mom’s hand so he can run up the steps. She stops him, though, and gives him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek._

_“Have a good day, sweetheart.” She waves him off and he’s gone, up the steps and into the bus._

_His confidence wavers when he sees how many kids are already loaded up. There’s a mixture of other kids, all different sizes and ages. He swallows nervously. The bus driver motions him down the aisle with a hand on his backpack. She gently guides him a few inches then lets him go on his own._

_Link shuffles between the brown leather seats, trying to ignore the stares of some of the older children. He picks up speed until he’s all the way in the back. The only empty seat is next to another boy, his age, with sandy blonde hair and big green eyes. Link looks around again and decides to sit there after an older child makes a rude gesture at him._

_Hugging his backpack, the other boy scoots until he’s pressed against the window. Link holds his own backpack in his lap while he sits, short legs hanging over the edge of the seat. He wiggles around uncomfortably._

_“Hi.”_

_Link startles. The other boy has spoken to him softly._

_“Hi,” Link says back. “What’s your name?” He doesn’t recognize the boy. Their town is small; everyone knows everyone, and his momma has never mentioned this boy before._

_“Rhett,” the blonde boy replies._

_“I’m Link.” His momma did always say be polite and you’ll make friends. “You wanna be friends?”_

_Link waits patiently. Rhett sits up straighter and smiles._

_“Yeah, friends.”_

_Link beams at him._

The room is getting colder every time he comes back to it. Link shivers and hugs himself tightly. He can recall a day just like that in first grade. Except—except it didn’t happen, did it? It never happened. He and Rhett met when they were held in for recess on the first day, not on the bus on the way to school. But he can smell the bus and he can hear his brand new shoes tapping on the dirty floor and he can see the eyes of the older kids staring him down. It’s startling how real all of this is becoming, how fast his mind is accepting that everything he’s seen thus far really truly happened. 

But what Link did this happen to? Because he, himself, _this Link_, never experienced these events. He never went to college not knowing Rhett, or went to dinner with their wives while the two of them had a secret affair, or picked over damn scarves and blankets at the farmer’s market of all places. This Link Neal, 41 of Burbank, married with three kids and a dog, doesn’t live in any of those places. 

Link doesn’t know what to think anymore. He taps his fingers in a jittery pattern against his biceps. The door is calling to him again. He chances a look over his shoulder, but doesn’t gaze directly at the door. It silently swings open another inch, letting more light in. 

_I’m not ready_, Link thinks. _I’m not ready to go home._

And just like that, he’s being dragged back to another moment in time he doesn’t remember.

*

_Something hits Link’s bedroom window. Beaming, he scrambles off his bed and hastily opens it up, sticking his head out into the cool night air. Rhett is poised down below to throw another rock, but drops his hand when he sees Link._

_“Let’s go!” Rhett hisses. Link looks over his shoulder and listens to make sure the noises haven’t woken his mom. When he’s sure she’s still snug in her bedroom and not going to catch him sneaking out, he hoists himself over the windowsill. He’s lucky his bedroom opens out onto a slope of roof, making his descent easier._

_“I’m coming, don’t getchur panties in a twist,” he hisses back. Rhett throws a small pebble towards him just for kicks. Link dodges it as he carefully slides out of the window and onto the sloped roof below him. He knows exactly which steps to take so he doesn’t shuffle any of the tiles as he makes his way down and across to the gutters._

_Link has done this a thousand times already. He knows the gutter drain pipe will hold his weight just like he knows which steps to take. It has become a routine for him, sneaking out with Rhett, and it’s just as exciting as all the previous nights. He gets himself on the edge of the gutters on his hands and knees, crawls backwards until he can wrap his legs around the pipe, then slides until his hands are holding onto it as well. The scooch down to the ground always makes him nervous._

_When Link’s feet touch the ground, he takes off running. Rhett is waiting for him with a hand extended and a broad smile. He’s giddy with excitement and rebelliousness, blood pumping hard through his body as he grabs Rhett’s hand and they take off together. Rhett’s bike is sitting idly by the mailbox; he gets on first and Link gets on the front, sitting on the handlebars like he’s done multiple times in their childhood._

_“You good?” Rhett breathes into his ear. It makes him shiver in combination with the cool air._

_“Yeah, let’s go,” Link exhales. Rhett pushes off from the ground and pedals slowly at first, letting Link test and adjust his grip. In no time, he’s pedaling faster down Link’s street, laughing gleefully in Link’s ear._

_After a few minutes of biking with nothing but the streetlights and moon guiding them, Rhett skids to a stop in the gravel at their favorite spot by the river. Link is breathless from the night air whipping him in the face and mussing up his hair, but he’s still got that giddiness flooding his system. He hops off the bike and runs straight for the rocks overlooking the river’s edge. Rhett isn’t far behind him._

_“Are we stupid, or are we_ stupid_?” Rhett asks._

_Link puffs out a breath as he stares at the rushing water below, feet dangerously close to the edge of the rock. The water is probably freezing, seeing as how the beginnings of fall have settled over Buies Creek. The sound is loud in the otherwise quiet night. Rhett nudges his shoulder._

_“Oh, we’re stupid, alright.” Link jerks his pajama shirt off and tosses it on the rocks to his left. He can feel Rhett’s gaze on him as he continues to strip down to nothing but his underwear. “What’s that your dad always says? Stupid is as stupid does?”_

_Rhett barks out a laugh at that. Link shoves his shoulders and laughs right along with him. He shivers while he waits for Rhett to remove his clothing. He can tell that his best friend is apprehensive about this adventure. It’s not that they’ve never done it before—they have dived head first into the river many times before—it’s the fact they have never done it at night, in the fall, while the river is significantly shallower than in the summer._

_“Link, maybe we shouldn’t—” Rhett starts. He gnaws on his bottom lip furiously and refuses to take his clothes off._

_“Don’t be a dumbnut, McLaughlin. We’ve done this before,” Link needles. Shivering, he shifts from foot to foot; a breeze has picked up and is blowing his hair in his face slightly._

_“We’ve never done it in the middle of the night, in fall weather, practically naked!” Rhett wails._

_Link knows his friend is right. They agreed to this after their friend at school bet them they wouldn’t be brave enough to jump into the cold water. Their adventures made them well known all over school and sometimes they agreed to things without thinking about it. This is one of those times. Link takes a step forward until his toes are hanging off the edge of the rock they’re standing on._

_“Let’s just go home, Link. We can find something else dangerous to do,” Rhett begs. Link shivers again. The rushing water entices him in a way that makes him breathless. He wiggles his toes. He’s always been the first to jump, the first to yell and scream and dive head first into their adventures together, Rhett not far behind, always there to catch him if need be._

_Rhett wrenches him back by the elbow and doesn’t let go. Link rolls his eyes. “I’m not about to jump, geeze, Rhett.” He worms his way out of Rhett’s death grip and reaches for his socks and pants. Rhett’s right: they shouldn’t do this, not at night when it’s cold and dark and the water is probably too shallow._

_As he spins around to follow Rhett back to the bike, he loses his footing on the rocks. His arms windmill in the air and he gasps, a foot slipping out from under him. There’s a loud_ Whoosh! _in his ears and his heart thuds painfully and he’s alarmingly aware that he’s falling backwards._

_But he has Rhett. Rhett, who’s jumping into action and just grabbing onto Link’s flailing arms in time to jerk him back over the rock’s edge. Link flies into Rhett’s chest, immediately wrapping his arms around Rhett’s torso and clinging on wild eyed and breathless._

_“Oh, my gosh,” he wheezes. Rhett is still as a statue and looking down at Link, eyes wide and a startling green in the moonlight. “Oh, my gosh,” he says again._

_Rhett bursts into laughter. Link’s entire body shakes with it, and soon he’s laughing too. Rhett lets go of him but doesn’t let him out of his sight until they’re both away from the rocks and standing by the bike._

_“That was close, Link,” Rhett says calmly. Link nods his head in agreement. “Don’t ever—“ The other boy pauses too long. Link understands immediately._

_Yes, they’re close, and they’re best friends, and made a pact on these very rocks a few years ago. But there’s been something new and thrilling between them these last few months. It simmers under Link’s skin at all hours of the day and night and drives him mad, but he tamps it down whenever they’re together. Rhett feels the same; admitted to it just a few nights ago similar to this one, both of them laying in Rhett’s backyard because Link needed to escape his parents fighting._

_“I won’t,” Link agrees breathlessly. Rhett holds him at arm's length, stares into his eyes intensely. Link sighs and pulls away to pick up his shirt._

_“Link, I’m not kidding. Don’t ever try to—”_

_Rhett’s plea is cut off by headlights beaming as a car heads straight for them. Link squints against the assault on his eyes and tries to see who it is. The car stops a few feet away and the engine idles as a door opens then slams._

_Link knows who it is before the shrieking starts. “Charles Lincoln Neal and Rhett James McLaughlin!” The voice, belonging to his mom, is high pitched and hysterical. She’s marching towards both boys like her heels are on fire. Link scrambles to gather up his shoes and shirt and jerks away from Rhett so fast he stumbles over his own two feet. “I’m going to murder you, Link, and you,” she stabs a finger into Rhett’s chest, “will be lucky to see the light of day again when I get ahold of Diane.”_

_Link blanches. He doesn’t bother putting the rest of his clothing on; he immediately runs to the car and jerks open the door to get in. Rhett isn’t far behind, eyes wide as he climbs into the backseat with Link. His mom stomps behind them, arms flailing as she curses and shrieks at them._

_“Mom, we were just—” Link starts._

_His mom stabs a finger into the backseat threateningly which causes Link to clamp his mouth shut. “Don’t start with me, Link.” She puts the car into reverse and backs onto the road. “I don’t care what the two of you were up to. When Diane and I get finished with y'all, you won’t even remember what you were out here for in the first place!” Her voice is loud inside the car. Link winces as he and Rhett look to each other._

_“Sorry,” they say in unison. She glares at them in the rear view mirror._

_The following Monday at school, they both have a bit of a limp and sore bottoms, blushes on their cheeks as make their way to the lockers in front of giggling friends._

_Link grumbles as he gathers his books out of his locker._

_“I hate that river.”_

_Rhett just groans in response._

Link’s entire body hurts when he comes back. His bones ache deep within and his chest and lungs are on fire, nerves singing under his skin. He remembers a time when they were young, stupid with youthful rebellion, and always getting in to trouble. But this moment, this cold night at the river, didn’t happen. Did it? His mom never caught them at midnight at the Cape Fear river, they never snuck away like that on Rhett’s bike, never…_never_ seems like too strong of a word all of a sudden.

Clearly, all of these moments happened or are happening right now, while he, Link of Burbank and married with three kids and a dog, just watches helplessly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 5! thanks for the love guys.
> 
> *this chapter is loosely inspired by a certain scene in the season 4 finale of supernatural. LOOSELY. it's the flashback scene, and it gave me inspiration for a certain part in this chapter.

The next one comes in quick succession to the last. Link is ready for it as he sits there, fingers twitching in his lap, memories he didn’t know he had needling to the forefront of his mind. It’s like his own personal slideshow playing out before him of memories he doesn’t have, lives he’s apparently had but didn’t realize. 

Link drinks it all in helplessly. 

That damn door creaks open behind him. Link ignores it in favor of the next memory, an obscene picture of himself with his head thrown back and his mouth gaping open. He blushes at the sight of himself in obvious pleasure but waits to be transported anyway. He’s gotten this far; there’s no turning back now, even when it makes him hot all over.

_A moan cuts through the air in their shared loft, high above the office and private. Link, head thrown back against the pillow and mouth gaped open, struggles to breathe right as Rhett takes his cock all the way down to the base. He moans again, louder this time, and has to stifle it against the palm of his hand. The crew is working diligently just a few walls and doors away._

_“Rhett, Rhett,” Link babbles. He twists Rhett’s hair in his left hand as hard as he can, earning a vibrating groan around his dick. “So good, baby, gosh.” His lungs ache and his heart is pounding in his chest._

_Rhett rewards the praise with a slow, agonizing drag of his tongue up the underside, stopping to suck the head between his lips and lap up the bead of pre-cum it elicits. Link bucks his hips and bites his lip so hard he see stars. This is so good, so good, it’s stealing all the air from his lungs and clenching his belly tight and hot. He moans through another slow drag of Rhett’s tongue._

_“Baby_, baby, _please it’s so good, I can’t—I can’t breathe,” Link gasps._

_Rhett hums and a spike of pleasure licks up Link’s spine. Arching his back, he thrusts his hips further into his best friend’s hot mouth. The other man clamps an arm over Link’s pelvis to anchor him to the ground while he works. Rhett sucks him back down, humming all the way, and Link tries his best to jerk his hips up. Rhett won’t let him._

_“Please, please, please, Rhett—come on, just—” Link’s voice is desperate when he begs for more. He twists his hips under Rhett’s heavy arm. “Gimme more, Rhett, please.”_

_Rhett bobs his head a few more times before pulling his mouth off Link’s cock with an obscene pop. He grins up at Link and Link shudders at the dark eyes staring him down. He sits up with his elbows on the hardwood flooring beneath him, Rhett moving with him until he’s sitting back on his haunches. Rhett himself is hard, pants impossibly tight in the crotch. If Link were to just reach over and undo the button—_

_Rhett slaps his hand away. “You stay there,” Rhett admonishes. He stands, looms over Link like a giant. Link licks his lips and enjoys the show standing above him. The shirt is the first to go; it flies over the railing of the loft. Next, he thumbs open the button of his jeans and sighs, eyes fluttering closed as the pressure is relieved some. Link reaches with needy fingers but he’s too far down to help, so he settles for just watching._

_Last is the zipper. Rhett undoes his jeans slowly, teasingly, watching Link with hooded eyes and his bottom lip between his teeth. Link bites his own lip on a groan when Rhett drags his jeans and underwear down, cock springing free. He hooks a foot around the other man’s ankle and kicks at him until he’s on his knees surrounding Link._

_“You’re so fucking hot,” Link gasps while Rhett crawls over him and sinks down to kiss him. It’s slow and tantalizingly hot and Link is gasping again when Rhett pulls away. He cards his fingers through Rhett’s damp hair, guiding him to his neck for more kisses. His beard is a welcome sting on Link’s skin. “So hot. And you’re all mine.”_

_“All yours, bo, all yours,” Rhett murmurs against Link’s throat. Link swallows down a moan. He’s impossibly hard against his own stomach and he can feel Rhett’s arousal against his thigh, already slick with precum._

_Link closes his eyes against the assault on his throat and collarbones, relishes in the blood searing through his veins and the throbbing in his dick. He wishes they could stay like this for the rest of the day, but knows they can’t. They have episodes to shoot and planning to do and families to spend time with at the end of the day. He wishes he could just barricade the door to their shared office, keep them in this bubble, in this happy place they’ve created for themselves. It’s an impossible wish, but he holds onto it._

_“Rhett, please, that’s enough. Just—just fuck me already.” Link loves the moan his words cause._

_Rhett complies and reaches across Link’s body for the bottle of lube haphazardly dug out of a drawer earlier. He nibbles at Rhett’s bicep since it’s there for him, waiting, and Rhett jerks in surprise. He sits back with the bottle in hand and waggles his eyebrows at Link as he pops the cap and squirts some onto his first two fingers._

Link gasps, eyes flying open. His heart thuds heavily in his chest as he tries to catch his breath. He’s so confused about all of this. He can’t wrap his brain around what’s going, much less fully understand why it’s happening. The ever-growing ache in his chest threatens to suck him under and drown him. 

He abruptly stands and begins to pace again. He’s growing more and more frantic as time goes on, doesn’t _understand_, doesn’t want this to end, but he wants to _go home_ now. With that thought, the door swings open a little more. Link stares at it and its inviting white light on the other side. 

Suddenly he hears a voice. It’s quiet and whispering but it’s there. The voice is a familiar southern drawl, sweet like honey, an edge to it from too much time spent in the big city. “Link.” Link whips his head around, searching. “_Link_.” He can’t find the source, but there are new pictures forming. 

Link shakes his head vigorously, squeezes his eyes shut. The door knob is so close he can reach out and grab it. So he does. It’s still cool to the touch when he wraps his fingers around it and swings the door open wide. He looks back one more time, at the lives rushing by in a frantic slideshow of memories, threatening to drag him back in and keep him there forever. 

_There’s one of them as kids again, swapping stories under a blanket with a flashlight, huddled in a tent in Link’s backyard._

_In the next moment, he’s a teenager standing with Rhett at their lockers, laughing happily as they talk about that girl they both have a crush on. They’re both oblivious to the secret crush they have on each other._

_Next they’re fighting loudly, gesturing and yelling and stomping their feet as they walk away from each other angry. Rhett slams a door in Link’s face and Link collapses onto the office couch in angry tears._

More and more threaten to swallow him whole. 

_A white wedding, blonde hair in a pretty bun and white dress flowing. Rhett standing at his side with a burning desire in his eyes, Link’s fingers twitching where they clasp together in front of him tightly._

_Link holding hands with Christy as they walk through town on a sunny day. Rhett strolls by holding hands with Jessie, all four of them oblivious to each other, a moment in which they haven’t met yet._

_Tim and Gregg are laughing with Link at something Rhett does. They’re both ignoring the chemistry they can feel between the pair of friends when Rhett tackles Link in a move reminiscent of UFC._

_Then there’s kids running around a backyard in sunny Burbank; Jade barking while Barbara lounges by her owner’s side at the pool. Rhett is tanned and smiling and laughing as Link splutters in the pool below him. Link pretends he doesn’t notice the burning in Rhett’s gaze._

Link is suffering. His chest hurts and he can feel a tug on his hand, leading him through the door. He keeps watching.

_Both of them kissing in the rain, kissing under the stars, kissing in their childhood homes. Both of them, together, as it should always be._

_Both of them fighting and angry again, this time Link walking away from Rhett and screaming he never wants to see Rhett again. Rhett yells back and grabs Link by the elbow to wrench him back._

_Link, naked and moaning, as Rhett ravishes him in their shared bed. They are both desperate for it after a terrifying brush with death the day before._

_Another wedding, this one simple and sweet and in the courthouse with Stevie as their witness. They are holding hands and can’t stop beaming at each other._

_Three children screaming in the house while Link talks animatedly to Christy about the super tall guy he saw at the farmer’s market on Saturday. His name is Rhett and he’s coming over for dinner with his wife that he knows Christy will be instant friends with. He doesn’t notice Christy’s wavering expression as she watches him light up in a way he hasn’t in a long time._

_Then there’s a desk with a green wall on one side and a blue wall on the other. It’s Rhett and Link and they’re talking into a camera about their first sponsored episode. It’s how it’s supposed to be._

Link blinks rapidly against the onslaught of emotions. That force is still tugging him down the hallway, away from the huge door. The intricate carvings are moving and twisting and weaving, flowers blooming and growing before settling together like they were meant to co-exist; like they would cease to exist if they didn’t have one another. 

_There’s still more that Link can see rushing by in a flurry of movement._

_Rhett sitting behind a camera, grinning and puffy cheeked. Link watching through his own laptop in his dorm room at North Carolina State. His favorite vlogger, always animated and always with some story to tell about his adventures._

_Rhett holding Link’s hand as they drive to the beach, both dogs sleeping in the back. It is the perfect day for surfing and relaxing._

_Rhett running past Link gleefully in the hallways of elementary school, accidentally bumping into Link with a sorry over his shoulder. Link too shy to say hello and wishing he could talk to the magnetic boy he sees every day in Mrs. Locklear’s class._

_Both of them intertwined in a bed, in each other, arms clinging to the other and sharing air. They’re connected in the most intimate way possible, every inch of skin sweaty as they move together, Link in Rhett’s lap and thighs clamped tightly around Rhett’s waist. He’s clawing at Rhett’s back, with his mouth in an open kiss against the other man’s._

_Two kids are sleepily trudging up a set of stairs. Link’s mom is ushering them up to their bedrooms just as the front door opens and Rhett and Link walk in. They smile at each other at the sight as they take off their outerwear. Their house is nice and cozy from the fireplace crackling in the family room._

_Link running from a screaming and flailing Jessie out the front door. Rhett is trying his best to stop her but she smacks him across the cheek. She’s pointing violently towards Link scrambling to get in his car, crying through accusations as she desperately pleads with Rhett to tell her it’s not true. Rhett’s expression is that of a guilty man._

_Christy crying because Link wants a divorce and what about the kids? What about their lives? He would leave it all behind for a man he just met a month ago? Why would he drop everything for this man he claims he’s known for a lifetime, deep in his soul?_

_Rhett and Link, together, a name brand and best friends and successful internetainers. They go home with each other every night and whisper exhalations into each other’s skin because they’re too far gone to quit now, too deep in each other to ever let go._

It all begins to morph into one tinny image. Everything their lives have led to, everything they’ve created, _together_, culminating into one simple screenshot of the two of them, sitting in a classroom coloring mythical beasts. The door slams and it’s the first time noise has broken through the quiet atmosphere. Link reaches out but he’s too late, everything has stopped, he’s tripping and he’s falling—

Link sits up so fast his head spins. He’s gasping in air violently and clawing at his chest, trying to breathe as he’s wrenched back into reality. He’s aware of a hand grasping his elbow and helping him sit upright. The room is suddenly too hot, all traces of cool air from before gone, music too loud in his pounding head. His skin feels too tight, _too tight_, as he scrambles to his feet. 

“Link—“ Rhett says loudly. 

Link jerks away from Rhett’s hand on his elbow. Rhett looks confused as Link runs out of the tent into the night. Hands on his knees, Link heaves out nothing in the gravel beneath his feet. It’s empty in there. The air feels good on his skin and in his nose when he inhales deep into his lungs. He can hear Rhett apologizing to Maya in the background and it angers him.

Emboldened by the anger, Link stomps back into the tent. “What did you do to us?” His hands clench by his sides. Rhett is taken aback at his outburst, green eyes wide in the low light of the candles. “Did you slip us something? What did you do?”

“Link, calm down. What’s wrong?” Rhett puts up his hands in a placating gesture. 

Maya is calm through Link’s outburst. 

“Didn’t you…did you see the same things I did?” Link asks. He won’t look at Maya who’s still calmly watching them. 

“What are you talking about? Link, I fell asleep, man.” Rhett swallows hard. Link shakes his head when he realizes he’s watching the other man’s throat bob. “You were out longer than me, I had to wake you up just now. I just assumed you were taking a really good nap, the way you were twitching around.”

Link snatches his glasses off his face and rubs furiously at his prickling eyes. Rhett was asleep. So what did he just witness? What did he just suffer through? He groans pitifully and rubs his eyes harder with his knuckles until he sees white spots.

A huge hand lands on Link’s shoulder. He doesn’t mean to flinch as hard as he does. He can see the hurt flash across Rhett’s face briefly. He rubs again and again, harder each time. 

“Link, stop,” Rhett cries out. He pulls Link’s hands away from his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I saw—”

Link doesn’t know how to describe it to Rhett. He doesn’t know how to tell his best friend everything he just saw over the past—_how long have they even been here?_ He checks his watch and see it’s just past ten p.m. They arrived at the fair at six, played games and rode the rides until about eight. So for two hours he laid there, experiencing lives he supposedly led—_leads_—somewhere in the universe. 

The thought is all consuming in its intensity. It nearly brings him to his knees. He takes a deep breath, shakes it off, and plasters on a fake smile for his best friend. Rhett sees right through it but doesn’t say anything. 

“I’m fine, let’s go.” 

Link stalks out of the tent without looking at Maya. He’s quiet the whole way to the car and doesn’t speak on the way back to the hotel. Rhett is silent as well. 

When they get to the hotel, Link immediately heads for the bathroom to take a shower, leaving Rhett standing in the room confused and seemingly hurt by Link’s silence. Link knows it’s hurting him, they never keep things to themselves, always comfort each other and help each other through the good and the bad. But this time Link doesn’t think he can speak. And even if could, would he want to?

The water feels nice on his itchy and overheated skin. He doesn’t do anything; just stands under the spray and lets it wash away the ache he still feels simmering under his skin. He leans on the tiles and closes his eyes. 

The memories come back to him abrupt flashes, like light bulbs bursting bright and hot, then fading into nothingness. Link groans.

This will be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the love y'all <3<3
> 
> and to em for her constant encouragement over this fic

Link doesn’t sleep that night. Every time he closes his eyes, he can see things he shouldn’t be able to see. Hands meeting, bodies touching, smiles, frowns, _everything_. It’s all-encompassing and it drives Link to lie awake for the rest of the night.

Rhett sleeps fitfully in the other bed. Link listens to him grunt and groan, tossing and turning all night. Eventually, he can’t stand it. He gets up around four in the morning, slings on his jacket and shoes, and grabs the car keys. 

The drive to the fairgrounds is different in the early morning. The sun hasn’t started to rise but there’s enough street lamps and moonlight for Link to see the trees passing by in a blur. Everything is eerily quiet, save for the music playing in the car, and the town doesn’t stir. It’s simple, almost reminds him of home, and eases his mind while he drives.

It doesn’t take long for Link to see the sign pointing to the fairground’s entrance. He parks on the side of the road and gets out in a hurry, feet already carrying him through the unlocked gate and to the familiar tent. He stops with a hand on the tent flap, suddenly aware that he must look like a crazy person if there was anybody else around.

How does he even know Maya will be here? How does he know any of this is actually real and happening? 

Link steels himself with a deep breath and goes to turn around, leave, just go home with Rhett and try to forget all of this. But just as he’s dropping the tent flap, a sweet voice calls his name from inside. 

He pops his head in nervously. She’s sitting at her table, tapping away at a laptop; a lamp gives off a pleasant glow behind her. It throws him off seeing her sitting there so casually with a computer, a startling contrast to the woman they saw only a few hours ago. The atmosphere from the night before is gone, leaving the tent dull and too quiet. It’s warmer than it was the previous night and the mats and pillows are stacked neatly in a corner. 

“Hello, Link,” Maya says calmly. She only lifts her eyes from the computer once, her stare impossibly clear in the low light. 

Link chews on his bottom lip as he considers what to do. He’s gotten this far in a fit of restlessness and now he’s suddenly nervous that he’s here. He quietly walks a few paces inside and stops. 

“I’m glad you’re back.” Maya closes her laptop. She regards Link with understanding eyes and a smile. “You ran out of here so fast I didn’t get the chance t—”

“Shut up,” Link whispers. He winces at the harshness of his tone, but she doesn’t flinch or show any sign of caring. Instead, her lips turn up in a small smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry.” He waves a hand at her then shoves it into his jacket pocket. 

Maya stands and walks around the table towards him. She’s a lot smaller than him, only standing below his shoulders. He stares down at her, suddenly wishing Rhett were here to give him confidence. But Rhett…Rhett is part of the reason he’s here in the first place. 

“Why are you here, Link?” She asks. 

Link gulps as he looks at her, feels how commanding her presence is just standing there. “I don’t…I want to know what happened last night,” he stutters out. His confidence is nonexistent at this point. The jacket is starting to get a little too warm so he jerks it off and throws it to the floor. 

“I think you know what happened,” she responds, smiling. 

Link shakes his head in disbelief. “You really think I know? I wouldn’t be here if I had any _clue_ what all that was!” His hands ball into fists at his sides and he can feel his phone vibrating in his pocket; he ignores it. 

“Link, what you saw was what you saw. There’s no changing it, no denying it. You saw—” she’s cut off by Link’s outburst.

“I _saw_ myself, I _saw_ my best friend, my wife, his wife, our entire freaking lives, and I…” he falters. “None of it has ever happened to me. I watched a thousand memories play out in front of me like some sick movie and all I could do was sit there and _watch_.” He’s getting angrier and angrier by the second; his blood is boiling under his skin and his nails are digging painfully into his palms. He’s on fire. “I don’t understand,” he moans pitifully. 

A calming hand lands on his shoulder. Link’s fists uncurl but the anger is still there. He shrugs her hand off and takes a step backwards. 

“You experienced what a lot of people call alternate universes. It’s a popular idea among all the conspiracy theorists, but most of them don’t know they’re real.” Link thinks of Rhett and all his conspiracy theories and his beliefs in the very same thing. “You had a very—” she seems to be stuck on her next words. “You had a very intense reaction to it. I’ve never heard somebody talk so much through a session or be so restless.”

Link blushes hotly and rolls his eyes. He didn’t know he talked throughout. He hopes he didn’t say anything embarrassing. 

“It’s normal, Link. People either go under and see nothing, or they go under and see everything and come out the other side perfectly fine. But you seem to be bothered by it.” Maya goes to sit back down at the table. She rests her folded hands on top and waits for his response. 

Link doesn’t know how to respond. Of course he’s bothered by it. He’s lived _this_ life and this life only since he was born forty-one years ago. He’s experienced a multitude of ups and downs, with Rhett by his side for thirty-five of those years. He’s fallen in love and he’s gotten married and had that white picket fence life with kids and a best friend that’s basically family. He cares about _this_ life.

But he also is enticed by the other ones. Some more than others, even though he won’t admit that out loud.

Link’s phone is vibrating in his pocket again. It startles him enough to make him jump. He snatches it out and looks at the screen, sees Rhett’s name and picture flashing, and promptly shoves it back into his pants. He can’t talk to his friend right now. It’s too much.

“I’m not bothered by it,” he lies. Maya smirks at him from across the table. 

“Don’t lie to me. I can see right through it,” her voice is tinged with a seriousness that causes Link’s skin to break out in goosebumps. “If you saw your life in other universes, then you should consider it a gift. Most people would kill to see how their life could be, how it could have turned out, how it _has_ turned out.” Link thinks he sees a sadness in her eyes, but doesn’t let that stop the anger he has for her. “Now you can decide how this life moves forward, Link. I can tell there’s something going on between you and your friend.”

“Don’t—” Link swallows thickly. His eyes are clouding up and his glasses are getting foggy from the blush on his face. He snatches them off and wipes them down before folding them neatly and putting them in the pocket with his phone.

Maya stands up and stalks towards him, all seriousness in her features and command in the way she moves. 

“Or do you just hope there’s something going on? Why else would you see a thousand lives that involved him, in every single one of them, if you didn’t want that for yourself now?” She stops just shy of a couple of inches and pokes his chest. “Don’t fool yourself, Link. It’s a gift to be able to experience this! So decide how you’re going to deal with it and don’t blame me for what _you_ want.”

Link, silent and furious, storms out of the tent and into the morning light that’s creeping above the fairgrounds. He doesn’t stop moving until he’s at the car and slamming the door closed behind him. His phone is vibrating again and again, so he takes it out and tosses it to the backseat. Chest aching, he grips the steering wheel so tight the leather creaks, rests his forehead on his hands. It feels like someone has punched the air right out of him as he sits there, fuming and aching and willing it all to go away. 

*

Link turns the radio up as high as possible during the drive back to the hotel. There’s the beginnings of morning traffic that slows him down and the sun is still rising above the horizon. 

When he arrives at the hotel, Rhett is standing at the lobby doors. He’s dressed for the day in a pair of tight jeans and his favorite cactus sweater, hair mussed up just so, and worry lines deepening his brow. Link always thought a frown made Rhett look too sad, like a child that had his hand slapped away from the cookie jar. 

He doesn’t want to get out of the car just yet, but delaying the inevitable will only make it hurt worse. The drive helped him loosen the ache deep within; seeing Rhett standing there worried made it tighten back up. Link drums his fingers on the steering wheel. He could always back out of the parking lot and pretend like he didn’t see Rhett standing at the sliding doors, rocking on his feet and staring at his phone. 

Sighing, Link shuts the engine off, realizes he left his jacket at the tent when he reaches for it. At least it was a hoodie, nothing fancy or great about it, so he lets it slide. He’d rather jump off a cliff than go back to that place. He searches for his phone in the back seat and when he finds it, he pushes the button to check the screen.

_10 missed calls_ and _3 new voicemails_

Link knows exactly who they’re from. He turns the phone off and gets out, rolls his shoulders against the tension he can feel in them. It’s an unpleasant feeling.

As he walks across the parking lot, Link can see the moment Rhett spots him. He visibly deflates in relief and beams at Link with a wave. When Link reaches him, he’s gathered up into a crushing hug. 

“What the heck, Link?!” Rhett holds him back at arm’s length and looks him up and down. 

Link forces a smile on his face. 

“Where have you been? I get up at 5 and you’re just gone. No note, no texts, _nothing_!” Rhett’s cheeks are puffing up as he holds in his anger. Link knows that temper well, has been on the receiving end of it several times throughout the years. 

He shrugs. “Sorry, man. I had to—” he swallows thickly. “I had to go back and talk to Maya.” Rhett’s eyes get huge and worried and _so green_. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you, but I didn’t sleep at all so I just…I got up and left.”

Rhett sighs and hugs him again. Link sinks into it and tries to ignore how fast the ache in his chest dissipates. He pats Rhett on the back once, twice, then pulls away. He starts towards the sliding doors but a hand around his wrist, tight and bruising, stops him briefly. 

“Please talk to me, Link.”

Link ignores the plea and jerks his hand away, strides into the hotel, and disappears around the corner to the elevators. 

They have nothing but time to talk about this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> continued thanks to sass for beta'ing for me. 
> 
> and continued thanks to em, my tumblr love, for being so supportive of this fic. MWAH <3

For two days and three nights, Link only speaks to Rhett when he has to before their last three shows on this leg of the tour. He plays his part for the audiences with ease, a familiarity between them that set his nerves on fire every time they step foot on a new stage. At night, he dreams. He dreams of college and childhood and bodies connected, and every night, he wakes up gasping and sweaty.

Link knows Rhett is hurting because of the silence. They have been angry at each other before, they’ve spat insults at each other in fits of rage only to apologize within hours, they’ve given each other the silent treatment and the cold shoulder over silly juvenile things. Even as adults and friends for thirty-five years, they get stupid and angry and try to outdo the other. 

But this is different. Link is willingly hurting his best friend because he himself doesn’t want to talk. He wants to stew in his confusion and anger alone, away from Rhett, away from that small town. He wants to be as far away from that place as possible, and if that means not talking to Rhett until they’re home then he’s fine with it. 

Except he’s not fine with it. He’s hurting, too. He’s in anguish not being able to talk about everything. From the time they met until now, Link has always been able to come to Rhett about things and vice versa. Rhett has always been the net that Link falls into when he’s being reckless or he’s hurting or he’s happy. 

He knows when they get home and get back into the routine of their lives that he’ll be able to speak. He knows it deep within his bones that he could never shut Rhett out for too long.

*

Their arrival home welcomes them with hot L.A. sunshine and thick, polluted air. It’s a stark contrast to the cool and clean countryside they just departed from. Link sees Christy first and then Jade, followed by his kids. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and Jade is doing a happy dance on her toes. He almost runs out the doors to them, but stops himself just short. Instead, he walks as fast as his feet can carry him, luggage bouncing along behind him. 

Rhett is dragging a few feet behind, but he knows that he’ll be fine once he sees his own family, waiting with Link’s out on the sidewalk. He bursts through the doors, an intensity simmering just under his skin, as he gathers his family up and hugs them tightly. Jade noses at his ankles so he reaches down and scoops her up. He’s giddy with excitement; it’s been such a long month and he’s so ready to get home, spend time with everyone. 

Link hugs Christy again. She’s laughing in his ear at how tightly he’s squeezing her. Somebody is hugging both of his legs at once. He looks up, over Christy’s shoulder, past the curtain of her pretty blonde hair, and sees Rhett beaming down at Jessie. Both boys are talking animatedly as Rhett grabs her by the cheeks and kisses her, sweet and welcoming. Link feels like he’s intruding so he releases his hold on his own wife and kisses her cheek. 

Soon enough, the McLaughlin family meets up with the Neal family. Link plasters on a smile when Jessie hugs him tightly and Christy hauls Rhett into a hug as well. Link’s smile falters when he sees the expression on Rhett’s face after Jessie releases him: he’s frowning slightly, mouth turned down, and his eyes are sad. 

Christy must notice because she pinches Link’s side. “What’s wrong?” she asks sweetly. Link shakes his head and grabs his luggage. 

“Tired, I guess.” She smiles, small and confused, but helps him with his luggage anyway. He looks up at Rhett. “See you Monday?”

Rhett swallows and nods before turning away with his family to go home. Link just watches him go.

*

Later, after all the luggage has been unloaded and laundry separated, Christy corners Link in the kitchen. He’s rummaging in the cabinet for his favorite mug and doesn’t know she’s there until a small hand slides under the back of his shirt. He jerks in surprise so hard he knocks a mug out of the cabinet. He flails to catch it before it hits the floor. 

She gasps and removes her hand from his shirt. Link feels guilty when he sets the mug down and turns to her, expression guarded and concerned. 

“Baby, what’s wrong? You’ve been jumpy since we got home.” 

Link pushes his glasses up his nose, licks his lips. She’s waiting patiently for him to speak. He doesn’t know what to say to her, afraid that if he tells her the truth she will see right through him and demand all the answers he can’t even give Rhett. 

His silence must stretch on for too long because she cups his cheek with a soft hand. “Are you two fighting?” She’s concerned, he can tell. “What happened while ya’ll were away?” She brushes his cheek with her fingertips. Link leans into it and tries not to think about other hands and how they felt, somewhere in the universe. 

He can’t lie to his wife, but he can’t tell her the truth either. It’s not like he and Rhett did anything, he knows that. Just like he knows that everything he saw, every universe, always led to he and Rhett, Rhett and Link. Both of them together, or just meeting for the first time, or fumbling their way through hidden feelings as friends. He thinks about his conversation with Maya the next morning. It sobers him immediately.

“Yeah,” he exhales in a rush. “We had a pretty big fight earlier this week. It’s fine though, we’ll be fine.” Christy smiles and he walks away. 

They will be _fine_.

*

On Sunday, Link goes to church with his family and sits in the crowd, silently begging for some kind of forgiveness he’s not sure he deserves, to a God who Link isn’t sure he believes in anymore. He spent the weekend playing adoring husband and loving dad, and the nights were spent dreaming of a life he was leading somewhere else. 

The afternoon is spent relaxing in between helping Christy finish laundry from days spent travelling. The kids are off on a playdate at a friend’s house and, while they’re gone, Link teases his wife into bed with his hands and his lips. He doesn’t think about how in another place and time he and Rhett are doing the same thing.

When they are finished, Link kisses her deeply and ignores the stirring in his gut that he’s done this before, with a partner less feminine and a lot bigger. He squeezes his eyes shut and goes to take a shower while Christy rolls over and naps, satisfied. 

*  
Come Monday, Link is a nervous mess about seeing Rhett. His phone has been silent all weekend. He’s grateful for it and hurt by it, but has to remind himself he’s the one causing all the hurt. He strides into work by himself. There was no carpooling today.

The studio is a welcome sight. Link takes in the quiet hallways and closed doors before everyone gets here to start their day. It’s good to be back and he feels it warm him up from the inside as he makes his way to the office. The door is already unlocked. 

When he swings open the door, Link sees Rhett sitting on the couch, hand over his eyes. Link pauses briefly then closes the door behind him. The soft click doesn’t seem to alert Rhett of his presence. He walks into the office and slings his bag on the back of his chair. 

“Morning.”

Link startles. He hasn’t heard Rhett’s voice directed at him outside of the show in several days. It has his heart racing and his breath picking up speed. He’s missed that sound. 

“Morning.” Link sits down at his desk, almost afraid to see how any emails have accumulated over the weekend. “Didn’t see your car. Jess drive you?”

Rhett hums in response. Link sighs when his laptop finishes booting up and his email tings rapidly. He groans and that gets a laugh out of Rhett. He looks over and sees that Rhett’s hand has dropped to his chest, and he’s looking right back at Link. Link purses his lips. 

“When are we going to talk, Link? I miss you.” Rhett’s voice is dripping with angst as he speaks. 

Link doesn’t know what to say, again. Not talking to his best friend for days on end has done something to him. He used to be able to open up with very little prying from Rhett; used to fall into easy conversation about anything and everything. So when he’s faced with an anguished best friend and the chance to speak, he still doesn’t.

He stammers out an apology and shoots out of his chair. It rolls away from him and almost causes him to fall. Rhett laughs pitifully from his spot on the couch. He leans forward to his knees and Link wants to go to him, wants to comfort him with a pat on the back and squeeze of his shoulder, something that’s sobering to the both of them. It gives Rhett comfort and gives Link the satisfaction of being needed by his friend. 

He’s needy and wants to sit by Rhett and just be there, even if they’re still silent. So he does. But Rhett sees his rush across the floor and meets him halfway, arms sliding around to his back and squeezing so hard when Link slams into him forcefully. Link has to stand on his toes to hug Rhett back. 

It feels good to be hugged by Rhett again. They play up the fact that they’re not the touchy feely type for the cameras, but Link would rather be hugged by Rhett than never be touched at all if it meant having his friend by his side. He sighs contentedly as Rhett digs fingers into his back. 

“Please, Link, talk to me,” Rhett whispers. His breath ruffles Link’s hair. Link squeezes too hard and Rhett gasps inaudibly. “_Please_.”

“Tonight,” Link murmurs. “Let’s order in and stay here. I’ll drive you home.” He feels Rhett’s enthusiastic nod against his shoulder and smiles. 

The ache that settled in his soul eases some. 

*

By the time the work day is finished and the crew says their happy goodbyes, Link is reeling. He’s been on edge all day after his reunion with Rhett and everyone could tell. The episode they worked on was a funny one, had he and Rhett playing off each other well, until they were both too giggly to continue. Stevie called a wrap on filming at exactly 4:30. 

The crew was ecstatic to shut down half an hour early on a Monday of all days. Link watched them hurriedly clean up while he and Rhett talked about the episode, things they could change and things that should stay the same. It was nice being able to converse with his best friend after so much time avoiding each other. 

Now, Link gratefully sits on their couch after ordering some Thai food for the both of them. Rhett is shuffling around the office, messing with this and that, a nervous tick that Link would recognize anywhere in time. 

Link is just as nervous, his leg jiggling where it crosses over his other knee. He picks at something on his shoe quietly while Rhett moves around. The air is stifling with their shared silence. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think Rhett was the one afraid to speak first. 

“Rhett—“he starts. He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and sucks on it, worries it with a sharp tooth until it’s stinging. Rhett turned to him expectantly. 

“Yeah?”

Link is about to continue but a knock on the door distracts him. Rhett races over to the delivery girl and takes the food, shoves a large tip in her hands, and closes and locks the door in her face. Link laughs loudly at Rhett’s wild eyed look as he comes to the couch with the containers and bag full of napkins and utensils. 

“I’m starving!” Rhett opens up the containers while Link gets out a fork and napkin for each of them. He pats the cushion next to him and Rhett plops down, smiling as they dig in for that first bite, awkwardness gone for the moment.

They eat in silence for a few bites, neither of them looking at the other. Link can feel the tension building between them as they eat. It’s becoming too much so he drops his container of food and takes a drink of water, soothing his tight throat. He swallows too much too fast but the burn almost feels good; he’s stalling and he knows that Rhett is waiting impatiently.

Link leans back and sighs. He turns his body to his friend and props a leg up to get comfortable. He can tell this is going to be a long evening so he takes his phone out to text Christy, then shuts it off and tosses it to the coffee table with the food. Rhett swallows what’s in his mouth, wipes it off, and then hesitates as he sets his own food down. 

“Okay,” Link sighs. He can do this. He can talk to his best friend of thirty-five years. He can’t shut him out anymore just because he’s a bundle of nerves and confusion. “Okay,” he says again, steeling himself against his feelings.

“Okay,” Rhett echoes. 

Rhett mirrors Link’s pose on the couch. Link tentatively reaches a hand out and pokes his knee, trying to get a reaction out of him. They’re being awkward and so unlike themselves it’s startling. 

“So in the tent, that night…” Link pauses. He doesn’t know how to continue or how to start or how to do any of this. That tightness in his throat is back. It tries to strangle him but he pushes through it. 

“Link, don’t be awkward about this. We’re best friends, we’ve always been able to talk to each other, no matter how bad it is.” Rhett reassures him with a pat on his knee. His hand stays there and Link’s eyes are immediately drawn to it. 

In another place, Rhett’s hand on his knee might mean something else entirely. But here and now, it’s a friendly gesture they have been doing since they were kids. Link lets it settle his nerves before soldiering on.

“Rhett, that night, I—I saw, um—” he stammers, causing him to blush. Usually he’s the one that has no trouble getting the words out. On occasion, he flubs his lines or blurts out whatever comes to mind, and they always laugh it off. It’s only when he’s nervous that his speech seems to falter and stutter.

Rhett is waiting with soft, understanding eyes and a small smile turning up his lips. He squeezes Link’s knee in a silent gesture that means _take your time, but not too much, we’ve had enough of it_. Link jiggles his leg on the couch. He steels himself with a deep breath and lets it go on a long exhale. 

“What she did, where she took us—me, it showed me things,” Link confesses. He shakes his head and slides his leg out from under Rhett’s heavy hand. He stands, begins to pace around the coffee table. He brushes Rhett’s legs every time he passes. 

“Things? What kind of things?” Rhett situates himself on the couch where he can watch Link pace. Link has moved across the floor now, shoes burning holes in the area rug, hands shoved deep in his pockets. 

“_Everything_. Past lives, alternate universes, whatever you want to call it.” He pauses at the confusion on Rhett’s face.

“Link…Link, none of that is real. I know I rail on conspiracy theories and all these kinds of things, but it’s—I know none of it is real.” Rhett flinches when Link throws his hands up in the air. 

“But it is real, Rhett! I was there, for every single one of them, a thousand of them, a _million_ for all I know, each one just a real as the last!” He’s getting frantic as he paces. He drops his hands by his sides and balls them into fists. That ache is back, clawing its way up his spine and through his chest to clench around his throat. He rubs a hand over his Adam’s apple harshly. “Rhett, I can’t—I can’t do this.”

Rhett shoots to this feet and is by Link’s side in an instant. Big hands circle his wrists and stop his frantic pacing, jerking his hand away from his throat quickly. He’s going to combust one of these days when those hands touch him. 

“Calm down, take a breath, Link,” Rhett soothes. His hands are vice-like around Link’s wrists as they hold them at Link’s side. Link’s fingers are tapping away on his jeans. Rhett brings Link’s hands up and holds them together with his own to stop the jitteriness. 

Link does as he’s told and breathes in, exhales slowly. It calms him along with Rhett’s hands covering his. 

“You of all people—I thought you would believe me the most.” Link feels kind of sad that Rhett isn’t accepting his words so easily. “You’re always ranting and raving about your theories and saying that alternate universes are totally real and…and why don’t you believe in it now?” He’s aware that he’s ranting, high pitched and breathy while Rhett anchors him.

Rhett laughs. The sound stings in Link’s chest. 

“Don’t laugh at me, Rhett!” He wrenches his hands away and storms off towards the loft stairs. Rhett is on his heels, huffing at Link. 

“I’m not laughing at you!” Rhett practically yells. Link stumbles to a stop with one foot poised for the next step. “I’m not laughing at you, Link, I promise.” He stalks up the steps behind Link and nudges him forward. Link finishes stomping up the steps until they’re both standing in the seclusion of their loft. 

Link is acutely aware of the heat rising in his cheeks when he thinks of one such universe, one where he and Rhett were in a heated and intimate position in the loft, the crew working obliviously just a few walls away. He pushes it down and blinks rapidly. 

Rhett takes a tentative step towards Link. Standing his ground, Link glares at him and crosses his arms over his chest. Everything is rushing through him in one swift motion and he can’t stand it. He wants to get through this, wants to bring Rhett back to him and rekindle their friendship, but it is all overwhelming. Rhett doesn’t believe him, or doesn’t _want_ to believe him. 

“I’m not laughing at you, _I’m not laughing at you_,” Rhett whispers fervently. He reaches for Link and Link lets him gather him up into a one sided hug. Soon enough, he melts into it and digs his fingers into Rhett’s shirt. 

“This is killing me,” Link whispers angrily. “It’s killing me from the inside out. I hate it, I wish we had never gone to that stupid fair and that stupid tent and met that stupid, stupid woman.” He shudders at the admission. He’s spent many a night lately wishing he could take it all back and steer Rhett in another direction, maybe towards the parking lot so they could go home, or to the ticket booth for more tickets, before falling into a fitful sleep. 

“Just talk to me, bo. _Talk to me_. I’ve missed you, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted you to just talk to me since that night.” Rhett is speaking directly into Link’s ear. It causes goosebumps to rise on the back of his neck. 

Link could just—he could just lean into it, let it take him somewhere that isn’t here, transport him to a time and a place that’s familiar but not. No, _no_, he isn’t any of those Link’s. He’s in _this_ one, standing in a tight hug with his best friend and trying to remember how to breathe. 

“Promise you won’t laugh anymore?”

Rhett squeezes him in response. Link sighs and moves out of the circle of the other man’s arms.

Rhett sits as Link begins his pacing again. He throws his hands on his hips and his head back, eyes closed for a brief moment, while he ponders where to start. Finally, he decides to just start with what is comfortable.

“Well, I started out in this weird hallway. It was, uh, it was really bright and all white,” he screws his face up at the memory. That light was blinding in its whiteness. “And you remember that door from Lord of the Rings, the one where they had to speak Friend to enter?” He stops pacing long enough to glance over at Rhett.

Smiling, Rhett nods.

Link continues, but his pacing slows to a shuffle back and forth across the floor. He keeps his hands on his hips before they start flailing wildly. 

“A door similar to it was at the end of the hallway, and I just knew I had to open it. So I did. It was a really beautiful door actually, had this big tree on it,” Rhett grins at the mention of a tree, “with a bunch of branches and flowers all weaved together.” Link swallows past a lump that’s beginning to form in his throat. 

“Keep going,” Rhett urges. 

Link notices that Rhett’s leg has started up a restless jiggle, shoe tapping rhythmically on the floor. 

“Um, then, I opened it and—“ Link doesn’t know how to describe the empty nothingness of a room he had found himself in. He thinks and thinks, trying to remember anything they watched recently that he can compare it to. Finally, he snaps his fingers in the air and turns to Rhett. “In Stranger Things, you like that show don’t you?—in Stranger Things when that bald girl goes to the upside down—that’s exactly what I found myself in. Except there wasn’t any water and it was dead silent.”

He doesn’t realize he’s babbling until Rhett kicks out at his legs and a shoe connects with Link’s thigh. He jerks out of his babble and blushes. Rhett smiles at him encouragingly.

“You’re babbling, Link.” He grins when Link splutters out an apology. 

Link isn’t sure if he should keep going at this point. Everything from here on out is intimate and confusing and baffling. It could change everything; it could change the delicate balance they have had going for years, both of them toeing the line more than once in their friendship. Suddenly Maya’s words before he stormed out of the tent come to mind. He shakes it off. 

“They started kind of slow, like…like pixels coming together. It was weird. But each one was different.” Link glances away from Rhett’s face, cheeks suddenly burning. He doesn’t know why he’s so hot all of a sudden. This is his friend, his _best_ friend, and Rhett has been dying to talk to him for days because of Link. 

“So, they were what? Past lives?” Rhett asks, face screwed up in confusion. Link shakes his head. 

“It was more like different points in time, different universes, but it was all us. It was all happening in another place, or places I guess. There were some in North Carolina when we were kids or attending college, some were here in California. But it was me and you in every single one of them.”

Link feels crazy just trying to explain it. Rhett is looking more and more confused by the minute. 

“I’m a crazy person,” he sighs. He drops his head forward until his chin hits his chest. He’s tired now and defeated and feeling absolutely bonkers. “I’m fucking crazy, Rhett!”

Rhett shifts in his chair until he’s got his elbows on his thighs. Clasping his hands under his chin, he regards Link silently. Link runs a hand through his hair for something to do. 

“You’re not crazy, Link,” Rhett finally says. “I think I believe you actually.” Link’s eyebrows climb high up his forehead. This makes Rhett belly laugh. “What you’re saying kind of makes sense. I mean, we’ve been friends for thirty-five years now. We’re tied, you and me, and I—”

Rhett’s stuttering causes Link to frown. His friend stands, impossibly tall above Link.

“I think, in any universe, we’d find each other, no matter what. It’s inevitable.”

Link freezes. His heart comes to a grinding stop and his breathing becomes erratic. He doesn’t know what to do with his shaking hands so he shoves them in his pockets. Rhett is huge and overwhelming and just standing there, still and silent for a moment.

“So tell me more, tell me all the ways we met and knew each other. And please, please tell me you were a zookeeper in one of them.”

Link grins and they both sit. He’s missed this.


	8. Chapter 8

Link doesn’t realize how late it is until he’s turning his phone back on. The only light is coming from a lamp downstairs. He gasps when he sees it’s well past midnight. He flies up to a sitting position. Rhett jumps at the sudden move. 

“It’s so late!” he giggles. He’s giddy with the lateness of night and the hours spent talking. Rhett chuckles back and drops to the floor heavily, head hitting a pillow he’d dragged off the recliner and onto the floor. Link goes with him.

He doesn’t remember when they kicked off their shoes or grabbed pillows and blankets, but it happened sometime around an hour after Link started recounting everything he had seen. He blushed through the more intimate ones, laughed while he told the story of his mom screaming at them at the river, cried as he remembered the ones where they fought and yelled at each other and said they never wanted to see each other again.

Link turns on his side to face Rhett. His body is going to protest every single minute of laying on the floor come tomorrow, but for now this is the most comfortable he’s been in days. It’s almost alarming how fast he went from restless and angry and confused to happy and content. The quiet of the loft, the shadows cast over them from the lone lamp downstairs, provided a surreal space for them to talk. 

He’s afraid that if they leave the bubble will burst; that Rhett will walk out of this building and go home to his family and will wake up tomorrow morning with a newfound hatred for his best friend. All of this _is_ a lot, for anybody, but especially for them. They have toed this line between best friends and more for years without speaking of it. They have smirked into the cameras and made innuendos about the other and went home to their wives at the end of the day. They can’t deny there has been something itching to get out. 

Link still wonders what it could all mean. What Maya’s words meant. He didn’t dwell on them after he left her standing there, the words echoing harshly in his skull. He didn’t want to think about them and let them turn ugly and twist him into someone his friend could hate. He did that himself when he shut Rhett out.

But now, with it all out in the open, he wants to dig.

Rhett beats him to it.

“Link.”

Link smiles at the sound of his name. 

“Does this change anything?” Rhett asks. His voice is whisper quiet in the shadows. 

Link thinks about it. _Does_ it change anything? Do they move forward and continue on the way they always have, or do they let it morph into some new scary part of their relationship? They have families and a public image to think about after all.

Before he can stop himself, Link is scooching closer to Rhett. He’s reminded of a time, in this life, when he and Rhett would build a fort made of pillows and blankets in his bedroom. It would always end up being too small for the both of them so they would lay side by side, arms pressed together, as they held whispered conversations. Usually there was a flashlight as they read a magazine together, or that time they drew a map of Buies Creek so they would never get lost, could always find each other. Being a child was much simpler, he thinks.

“Y’know, when I went back to see Maya that morning,” Link starts. He’s emboldened by the shadows creeping around them, thinks that it makes telling secrets easier. “She told me somethin’. She told me that I need to decide how to move forward with this life, decide what I want, and t’not blame her for what I want.” His fingers flex in the pillow he’s holding under his head. 

Rhett is silent next to him. He’s grateful for the quiet as it urges him to continue.

“She’s right. I need to…I need to move forward. I can’t let things happening in another place and time hold me, or _us_, back.” There’s a confession on the tip of his tongue, but before he can say it Rhett is surging forward to wrap long arms around Link’s shoulders. The position is uncomfortable but welcome. “She knew, she saw right through me.” 

Rhett squeezes him tighter. 

“A stranger knew what I wanted as soon as we walked into that tent. Did you hear her? She assured me that everything would work out.” He’s desperate now. “Please tell me it’s all going to work out, Rhett, please. I don’t think I could exist without you in any life.”

Rhett is squeezing so hard the air is leaving Link’s lungs. He gasps and shoves at Rhett’s shoulders. The other man retreats just enough for Link to breathe. The shadows and the cool air and miniscule distance between them is spurring him on, pushing out words he didn’t know he had in him.

“I wouldn’t’ve seen you in every one of them, in some way, if there wasn’t a way to move forward in this one. Like you said, we’re tied together, Rhett.” Rhett is breathing heavily in front of Link. “Even the ones where we only saw each other in passing, I felt tethered to you. I felt it, _I still feel it_, and I need it.”

The words are addicting, spilling off his tongue. The confessions are heavier in the darkness of the loft. He doesn’t know how either of them will feel in the daylight, where everything can be seen, so he wants to say it all now. He can feel it, deep in his soul, that pull and that ache and more confessions bubbling to the surface. 

“Don’t ever leave me. I can’t believe I shut you out for so many days, I’m sorry, ’m sorry,” he whispers, fingers flexing harder in the pillow. He’s itching to reach out and touch. 

Rhett’s breathing has become erratic and choppy, ghosting over Link’s face and ruffling his hair. Rhett’s arms are still wrapped around him and his hands are huge on Link’s back. He keeps talking.

“I remember one time, we met on campus after you rammed right into me. I had this annoying feeling in the back of my mind that I had met you before; should’ve known that we had already known each other for years.” 

Rhett exhales in a rush. 

“In another, I met you on the street and I fell in love with you instantly. I made Christy cry when she asked me why I was leavin’ her for you. You know what I told her?” Link is afraid of this one. His gut churns nervously. Confessions of love were one thing, but this? Telling Rhett that he would drop everything: family, wife, white picket fence, all of it, for him? It’s downright terrifying.

He leans forward and looks directly into Rhett’s eyes. He sees them glittering back in the dark, sees how shiny they are with tears. The air between them is charged and ready, might break if either one of them moves too fast. 

“I told her that I’ve known you for years, it felt like I had to’ve known you forever, that I would be able to find you anywhere, any place, no matter what she said or did.”

Link finishes with a gasp and reels forward, pulling Rhett to him by his shoulders. Their mouths collide sharply. Rhett brings his hands to Link’s neck, holds him so tight Link can feel fingertips digging into his skull. The kiss is grounding, brings him back to reality fast, charges the air even further. He claws at Rhett’s shoulders and Rhett rolls with him until Link is on his back. 

“You know you talked the whole time you were under?” Rhett asks after they break the kiss. He’s huge above Link in the shadows. 

Link nods helplessly. 

“I came to pretty fast. Maya said I slept for about half an hour then just woke up. You were dead asleep, but you wouldn’t shut up.” Rhett hovers over Link and kisses his forehead. “Link, you said my name, _you said my name_, and it sounded like a prayer.” Rhett groans when he kisses Link on the mouth. “Like you needed me more than ever.”

Sighing, Link drags his hands down Rhett’s arms and bunches the fabric for purchase as Rhett kisses him. It’s wet and it’s intimate and it’s another confession for both of them to keep secret.

“I wish I coulda seen it with you,” Rhett murmurs against his mouth. 

“Me, too,” Link replies. 

Rhett kisses him again and again, slides his hands slowly down to Link’s shoulders. Link feels like he’s drowning in every single one. His friend’s lips drag along Link’s jaw, down his neck, around to his throat. Link has to tilt his head back for better access. He moans when Rhett nips at his skin, lights him on fire with a teasing bite, then soothes it with his tongue. 

Link’s whole body is alight. He can feel it curling his toes against the floor, feel it where his fingers are digging into a strong back, feel it in his bones, _feel it everywhere_. He didn’t think days ago this is where he would end up. He went into that tent apprehensive and came out angry and confused. And now he can’t even remember how to breathe as Rhett holds him and kisses him. 

“Rhett, _Rhett_, we should—” he can’t finish the words until Rhett stops. 

Rhett hums into Link’s skin. It leaves a searing mark that burns him even more. 

“Stop, we should stop,” he huffs out. He’s breathless. The air is heavy between their shared space. Link thunks his head against the pillow while Rhett continues to press kisses into his skin. Teeth scrape gently in the dip of his throat and tongue follows, soothing a path down further, only stopping when fabric gets in the way. Link has to grab at Rhett’s shoulders and dig in sharply.

Finally, Rhett pulls away. He sits back on his haunches and considers Link below him. Link shudders at the intense gaze. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. We should stop.” When Rhett speaks he’s breathless, too. 

Link stares for a moment longer, before sitting up and grabbing his phone. His chest hitches at the number of missed calls and text messages from both Christy and Jessie. He locks it, ignores the time, and wraps his arms around Rhett’s middle, the other man’s coming around his shoulders and squeezing. The bubble is dangerously close to popping now that he’s sobering up and calming his breathing. He closes his eyes and just…just _breathes_.

The shadows in the loft hold all their secrets now and for that, Link is grateful.

*

Link arrives home at exactly two a.m. Christy is waiting for him on the couch. Her petite frame holds a lot of anger. He closes the door as quietly as possible so he doesn’t wake the kids or Jade. 

“Link Neal,” Christy whispers harshly. “What the hell!” She stands abruptly when he rushes to her side. 

“Christy, baby, I’m so sorry.” Link holds his hands up in apology and as a shield. She gets feisty when she’s angry enough, and right now she’s furious at him. “Rhett and I, we started talking it all out, and the time got away from us.”

Christy shoves him out of the way, hard. She’s too small to make it hurt the way she wants it to. Link lets her storm out of the room and upstairs, fuming in silent anger. He sighs and rubs at his tired eyes. This is a night for the couch.

In no time, Link has the couch acceptable for a few hours of sleep. He showers quickly in the guest bathroom downstairs and brushes his teeth in silence. He misses Rhett already. It’s a sobering realization.

After Link settles on the couch and has his glasses folded on the coffee table, he picks his phone up. Rhett has sent him a message. He thumbs it open, and waits a beat so he can gather the courage to read it. 

_I’d find you anywhere, Link. Never forget it._

The message makes him weak. If he weren’t already lying down then he would collapse onto the couch. He holds the phone to his chest with eyes closed, thinks about another life, another time, and sniffles. 

The phone vibrates against his chest. 

_No matter the time, the place, or the universe, we would find each other._

Link stares at it for a solid minute. He stares and stares and stares until his eyes start to droop. When he falls asleep, the words are seared into his mind, forever imprinted there like another secret.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again to sass for beta-ing this for me! she's the best <3

When Link wakes Tuesday morning, it’s to Christy sitting on the coffee table directly across from him. There is sunlight filtering through the curtains and painting the room in a comforting yellow-orange glow. He tries to focus on it, for just a moment, because the reality waiting for him isn’t pleasant. 

She clears her throat. Link finally rolls onto his side and looks directly in her eyes. They are a steely blue as she stares back at him, hard with pent up frustration and anger. He doesn’t blame her. He looks her over and notices that she is mostly dressed for the day, pretty in a plaid dress and bare feet.

“Mornin’,” Link whispers. He pushes himself up to a sitting position and curses how right he was about the soreness that would come.

“What the hell, Link?” She blurts. “_What. The. Hell_?”

Link reaches out to her but she flinches away. 

“I’m sorry, I really am,” he starts and scooches to the edge of the couch so he can put a hand on her knee. She flinches again, but doesn’t move away. “You know how Rhett and I had a fight?”

Christy nods and sighs. Link knows she understands, or will understand, because it’s he and Rhett, always has been and always will be. She knows that even the simplest argument can lead to a marathon of talking. But Link can see that this time she feels differently; she knows something is up.

“We finally talked,” he says, and can’t help but smile at the memory of last night. She’s squinting at him now, confusion and helpless anger warring on her face. Link lets go of her knee and instead takes both hands in his and cradles them in his lap. “I’m sorry, I’m _so sorry_ I didn’t talk to you or call you, and I hate that I made you worry.”

“Link, I—” Christy pauses. Link watches her face and prays that she can’t see anything damning on his. “Is talking the only thing? Was the fight that bad that y'all had to spend _hours_ just to work through it?” She pulls her hands away from his and starts fiddling with her wedding ring.

Link swallows past a lump forming in his throat. He tries not to think about how Rhett’s lips felt there only hours before. He can still feel where his beard scraped against his skin and his kisses burned. Before he can stop it, a blush is rising in his cheeks. 

Christy looks like she wants to cry.

“Christy, no, no—whatever you’re thinkin’—”

She shoots up to her feet and balls her hands at her sides. 

“Whatever I’m thinking?! Link!” Her voice has taken on a shrillness that Link didn’t know she could reach. “You’re blushin’, just because I asked you if all the two of you did was _talk_! What else am I supposed to think?”

She begins to pace in front of him. Link tries to grab her hand to stop her but she jerks it away and glares at him. 

“I know you and Rhett are a package deal, Jessie and I both know it,” she huffs. Link sees tears in her eyes and immediately feels awful. “We came into this relationship already in progress, the two of you were already so far deep there was no getting in between. We’ve never _wanted_ to get in between.” The more she talks the thicker her voice gets with tears. 

“Nobody thinks—” Link starts to protest, but is cut off.

“I know that! Don’t interrupt me, Link.” She points a threatening finger at him then moves away from him, out of reach of his hands so he can’t touch her. “Ya’ll’ve fought before and got back together. There have been plenty of ups and downs, Link, but something doesn’t sit right with this one. I can’t shake the feeling that—that the two of you…” She trails off, embarrassed of her words. 

Link sighs heavily and rubs a hand over his face. He’s exhausted and he has work in an hour and he _can’t deal with this_. He’s still reeling from the last several days, and he’s especially aching from the night before. 

“Did—did something happen last night? Whatever fight the two of you had before coming home, did it lead to somethin’?” Link’s chest seizes up with fear. He should’ve known his wife of all people would see something was up, that Link wasn’t being himself, that something just wasn’t right. 

Link takes a breath and looks at a spot above her head. He can lie or he can tell her the truth or he can say nothing. He doesn’t know which one might be worse. 

He decides to lie, for now.

“No, Christy, nothing happened. I told you, we fought and we made up. That’s all. We lost track of time while we talked.” A sharp pang settles in Link’s chest. He doesn’t do this, he doesn’t lie to his wife ever. She’s so good to him, _too_ good for him, especially now.

Christy looks like she doesn’t believe him, but she sighs and drops her head into her hands. “I want to believe you, Link. And if you say,” she steels herself quickly, “if you say that y'all just talked, then that’s it. Y'all just talked.” 

Link doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve this woman and her blinding belief that he would never do anything to hurt her. Of course, he had the same belief when they got married and when they started a family and when she followed him across the _goddamn country_ with Rhett in tow. He’s had this belief every day of his life with her, no matter where Rhett fell into the equation. 

Before he can say anything, three pairs of feet come running down the stairs. Link shrugs the tension out of his shoulders and Christy wipes her face, all traces of sadness gone in the face of their children. 

“Mom! Dad!” Lincoln yells. 

Link opens his mouth to say something to Christy, “I love you,” maybe, but nothing comes out. She plasters on a fake smile, kisses his cheek quickly, and then she’s gone. 

*

Link arrives at work an hour late. He texted Stevie to let her know he would be arriving late, ignored a text from Rhett about carpool, and came in by himself. He was greeted by a few crew members already busy as he walked by, and when he opened the door of their office, he froze, backed out, and went to find some tea.

Now, as he sits at the GMM desk and sips his drink, he can think. He’s got a few notes in front of him, pretending to look over them before they start filming, but isn’t really comprehending anything on the page. His mind is reeling. One step into the office had his heart racing and every secret confession spilling forth to the forefront of his mind. 

Before he knows it, it’s been twenty minutes without a single soul disturbing him. The crew worked diligently around him, in and out, but nobody spoke to him. His tea is gone and his notes unread, but his mind is still reeling. He glances up at the clock overhead and winces. It’s ten minutes to show time. Ten minutes till he has to interact with Rhett and face the previous night. 

The crew trickles in slowly. Link exchanges his dirty mug for his clean one they use on camera. He fiddles and fidgets and tries to stop his hands from shaking. It’s no use. They won’t stop so he clenches the paper in his hand; his grip is so tight the paper rips. 

“Whoa there, buddyroll. What’d that paper do to you?”

Link jerks his head up. His breath hitches and his heart rate picks up at the sight of Rhett. He’s magnetic as usual with his hair perfectly styled and his sweater sleeves rolled up, beaming smile scrunching his nose and cheeks up. Link swallows hard; he wasn’t expecting to be taken aback at the sight of him. 

Rhett winks. Link blushes fiercely. 

When Rhett sits, Link tries not to scooch away. When he secretly reaches out and squeezes Link’s knee, Link breathes in sharply. When he turns that beaming smile on Link, Link—he freezes. He can’t catch his breath. 

“Hey, man,” he manages. 

Rhett’s smile softens. “Hey,” he says back. 

Stevie claps from behind her desk. Rhett gives her his full attention while Link sits there and silently suffers from lack of air.

This will be a long morning.

*

Stevie calls for a lunch break half an hour early. Link knows it’s because of him. He can’t get his words right, has been flubbing everything from the time the cameras started rolling. Every time Rhett would so much as look at him, Link would stutter or clam up. 

He caught Stevie’s eye one time. Her expression said she was aggravated but her eyes said she was concerned. So when Link kept getting more and more flustered, he looked over at her pitifully, a silent plea for a break. She nodded once and that was enough; she called for an early lunch, told everyone what time to be back, and Link was out of his chair like it was on fire. 

Link made it to their office without anyone stopping him. He kept his head down until he got there and when he finally made it, he slammed the door shut. He debates locking it now, but doesn’t think he has it in him to shut Rhett out again. 

He leans his butt on the door with his hands on his knees and his entire torso heaving in desperate breaths. He wants to cry or break something or both. This all started because of him and it’s spiraling in and out of control because of him. 

“Link.” There’s a quick knock at the door. 

Link waits a beat until there is another knock. 

“Let me in,” Rhett says. “Please.”

Link breathes sharply through his nose. He can’t deny Rhett, no matter how hard he tries, no matter how hard he squeezes his eyes shut, he can’t deny what’s right outside the door waiting on him. The thought is enough for Link to spin around and jerk the door open wildly. 

Rhett jumps back in surprise, but Link doesn’t let him get far before he’s grabbing Rhett’s sweater and pulling the other man into the office. Rhett gasps and his arms flail before finding purchase on Link’s shoulders. It burns through his shirt hot and bright. 

“Link—” Rhett steadies him with his hands. Link doesn’t let go of the sweater in his grip. 

Link was right last night. The office feels different in the daylight when all the shadows are gone and their secrets are visible for them to see. It makes his heart constrict in his chest and a groan rip its way from his throat. Rocking up on his toes, Link smashes his lips against Rhett’s. He roughly grabs at Rhett’s neck, his hair, his shoulders, anywhere he can touch that will help him feel grounded as he kisses his friend.

Rhett rears back with a sharp inhale. “Shit, Link,” he chokes. 

Link drops to his feet and rests his forehead on Rhett’s chest. Fingertips digging in, he clenches Rhett’s sweater again. Something has ignited itself, lit a fire under him that he doesn’t want to explain. His skin is searing and his blood is boiling and a thousand lives play on a sickening loop in his head. 

“Don’t—don’t speak,” Link says in a hushed voice. “Let’s not talk right now. Please, Rhett.” He can feel the pinprick of tears when he looks up at Rhett. 

There’s a single charged moment, where Rhett stares at Link and Link stares back, before everything comes crashing down around them. Rhett surges forward first with a defeated groan and Link meets him halfway, their lips crashing together in a heated kiss. 

Link bites and teases with sharp teeth, licks along Rhett’s lips until the other opens up willingly. His hands find the hem of the sweater and start bunching and pulling. Rhett’s hands are doing the same; they clash and it hurts when Link hits his knuckles against Rhett’s, but he wants the top off. He gets his hands under first, slides them up and around a heaving rib cage, dragging the sweater with him. 

Rhett pulls back enough for Link to rip the shirt over his head and sling it to the nearest surface. “Door,” Rhett growls. Link reaches over and flips the lock quickly. He wastes no time crashing back into a kiss and wrapping his arms around Rhett’s neck. 

After a moment, Link has to pull away to breathe. “I’m sorry,” he pants. Rhett laughs, head thrown back, neck bared. Link can’t help it. He rocks forward, drawn to the skin in front of him like a moth to a flame, and presses a kiss to Rhett’s throat. “I’m sorry, I ignored you and I attacked you jus’now.” 

Rhett laughs again. “I kinda like it,” he admits. “What’s gotten into us, Link?”

Link chews on his lip thoughtfully. 

“Christy and I talked this morning,” he says quietly. Rhett avoids his eyes at that. 

“Did’ya now?” He gathers Link close and instinctively Link wraps his arms around Rhett’s torso.

“She thinks us talking last night must’a led to something.” Link feels guilty talking about her when they’re in this kind of position. 

“Well, it did, didn’t it?” Rhett questions. He pecks Link’s hair and Link sighs. “You shared a thousand lifetimes with me, Link. You told me all about everything you saw and then we kissed. And now we’re kissing again, hours later.”

Link shudders hearing it come from Rhett’s mouth. Last night was a different time and place, where the shadows covered his confessions and spurred him on in a way that was new, exciting, and all consuming. It’s all he can think about now, has been all he could think about since he and Christy argued this morning. 

“What about Jessie?” He wants to know if he’s the only one on the verge of losing things. 

Rhett sighs into Link’s hair. Truthfully, Link doesn’t really want to know what Jessie and Rhett talked about. He doesn’t want to know if Rhett lied to her or told her anything at all, or even if she suspected anything. And if she did, Link knows that Rhett isn’t to fault for any of this. It’s all Link. 

“We’ll talk, eventually. But Link, we have to figure this out.” Link squeezes his eyes shut. He knew this was coming. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to make it through today without he and Rhett getting serious. 

“Can we just—” He doesn’t know how to say it. The Links he saw that night, and the Link he was last night, were confident and emboldened by feelings. Now he feels reckless with it; wants to ruin himself and Rhett, wants to kiss and bite and see how many layers he can remove. 

Rhett nods silently. Link releases his hold on Rhett’s body and takes a couple of steps back. He’s suddenly nervous when Rhett reaches up and removes his glasses carefully to set them down by the door. The other man gently cradles his face and kisses him breathless. All urgency has simmered down, settled into a low burn at the base of his spine, still there to remind him. 

The shadows may be gone and their secrets laid bare, but Link is ready for whatever they face.


	10. Chapter 10

Later, when Link has finally made it through another day of work, Rhett texts him. He’s packing his things and getting ready to leave to face his wife when the phone vibrates against the coffee table. 

_Should I?_ he thinks. He knows it is Rhett without having to look. 

It keeps vibrating incessantly on the glass table top, screen lighting up, until it eventually falls off to the floor. Link rushes to pick the phone up. Chewing on his bottom lip, he hesitates with his thumb over the unlock button. It vibrates against his palm and lights up again with Rhett’s name. Finally, he unlocks it and sees that Rhett has sent him several messages. 

_We still need to talk this out, but I want to hear more_ the first one reads. Link eyes it nervously for a few seconds then scrolls down to the next one. 

_How many times did you see us kiss, Link? Did you feel it every time we did?_

Link swallows against a lump rising in his throat. He closes his eyes and thinks about Rhett’s question. How many times _did_ he see them kiss? And did he feel it when they did? He knows he felt it in his chest and deep in his soul, felt it every time he came back to that room and had to accept what was happening. 

The next one makes Link blush up to his ears. Rhett is teasing him now.

_How many times did you see us fuck, bo?_

Link cradles the phone against his chest so he can stop and breathe. His heart is racing, _again_, for what feels like the hundredth time that day. The fact that Rhett can do that to him, through a phone no less, makes his cheeks flame and his heart rate climb dangerously high. Before all of this madness, Link never would have admitted to his hidden attraction for his best friend. The fact that it took something akin to a fever dream to get him to admit it has him reeling. 

_How many times did we drive each other mad? I want to drive you mad, hear what it sounds like, know what all the other me’s get to have._

Link groans and sinks onto the couch, bag forgotten on the floor by the door and all thoughts of going home in the back of his mind. 

_How many times did you hear me say I love you?_

This makes Link pause. He huffs out a breath and drops the phone onto the cushion next to him. How many times did Rhett say it? He doesn’t remember if Rhett, or he himself, ever said it, but he knows the feeling was there. Maybe they didn’t need to say it. In a thousand lifetimes, Link loved Rhett and Rhett loved him, no matter how long it took them to find each other. 

A knock on the door breaks Link out of his stupor. He knows who it is immediately, doesn’t have to look up to know it’s Rhett. He keeps his eyes focused on his hands twisting in his lap. 

“Hey,” Rhett says softly. His voice is gruff after a day of work. The sound sends a shiver down Link’s spine. Footsteps echo across the floor until Rhett’s shoes are aligned with Link’s. “Did’ja get my messages?”

Link nods quietly. Rhett nudges at Link’s right foot with the toe of his shoe. Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, feeling suddenly bold, he pushes himself off the couch and crowds directly into Rhett’s space. He keeps his head down but rests his hands on Rhett’s waist, bunches up the fabric in a vice-like grip, and watches long legs shift restlessly. 

“Link?” Rhett questions. Link chews on his lip and squeezes harder. He can feel it, starting at his toes, working its way up his body like a fever, hot and furious and choking the breath from his lungs. This addiction is sweet and all-consuming, and Link never wants to give it up. 

Link could throw everything away and fuck up his life. He could bury it all under a mountain of guilt and walk away. He could reign it in, hold it back, and look but don’t touch. But he won’t. He knows himself and he knows Rhett. They are both on the edge and about to leap; it’s just a matter of who goes first. 

He thinks of a time, somewhere else in the universe, where he and Rhett are together. They’re probably tangled up right now, in someone’s bed or the loft or god knows where, desperately clinging as they drown together. He wonders if all those times started just like this one with both of them hiding feelings or if they came together from the very beginning. 

A finger grazes his chin and tilts his head up. Link swallows at the intensity in Rhett’s gaze as he stares down into his, wonders if Rhett can see into his soul and know that he’s fighting a losing battle. He must know, _he has to_, the way he’s looking at Link. 

Rhett looks content, happy, confused, and aroused all at once. 

Link sucks in a breath and leaps. Rhett will catch him. 

All at once, they crash into each other. Link’s lips collide with Rhett’s in a harsh kiss, both of them moaning into it helplessly. Big hands slide up his back and into his hair, stopping where it’s almost too short to hold on to, and yanks his head back. Link’s mouth pops open on a breathy moan as Rhett presses sloppy wet kisses on his face and across his jaw. 

“_Rhett_,” Link gasps. He stands on his toes so he can reach his arms around Rhett’s shoulders, hold on as tight as possible while Rhett kisses his way to the other side of his jaw. “Rhett, what are we doing?” Link draws in a ragged breath when Rhett’s teeth catch on his earlobe. 

“I told you,” Rhett whispers into his ear, “I want to see what all the other me’s get to have.” Link’s breath hitches when he inhales too much too fast, eyes fluttering closed. “It’s not fair—” 

Link rears back, anger flaring up, and glares at Rhett. “Don’t say it,” he whispers harshly. He drops back to his feet and lets go. Rhett releases the hold he had on Link’s hair, eyebrows flying up his forehead. “Don’t.”

“Don’t say what?” Rhett is getting angry now, too. All heat from the moment before is on the backburner. 

Link balls his hands up by his side and takes a few steps back. Every ounce of confidence he had last night, in the loft with Rhett by his side, boldly admitting to everything he saw, has left him. In the light of day, he’s scared and he doesn’t know what they’re doing, just that he wants to keep doing it. Confessions of love from a life _they_ do not live is one thing, but admitting to anything now in this life? It’s downright terrifying. 

“Don’t say something that could ruin everything,” Link returns. He stalks off and to the loft stairs, sneakers stomping loudly on his way up. When he reaches the top, he cards his hands into his hair and begins to pace. Rhett isn’t far behind him, bounding up the steps two at a time, and coming to a stop in front of Link.

“Ruin everything?” Rhett bursts. Link closes his eyes and paces the other way. He digs his fingers into his hair and winces at the burn. It grounds him enough. “Link, we ruined everything when we went to that stupid fair!” Rhett is trying to crowd into Link’s space. “We _ruined everything_ when you shut me out for days and refused to talk to me. I had no idea what was wrong with you or what I did to…to make you hate me so much so fast!”

Rhett’s chest is heaving and his eyes are wild. Link shakes his head, groans, and leans against the far wall, as far away from Rhett as he can get in the crowded loft. 

_I could never hate you_, he thinks. 

Rhett continues his rant, throwing his hands up in the air and waving them around while Link suffers against the wall. 

“Link, we ruined everything last night, when _you_ told me what happened. _You_ put it all out there. _You_,” Rhett is stalking towards Link and jabbing a finger at him. He pokes Link in the chest hard enough to bruise later. “_You_….” His voice tapers off into hushed whisper. Link swallows hard and dares to look at Rhett crowding in to him. “Link, you broke me. You let me in on a thousand lives that _we_ don’t get to live.” The sound Rhett makes before he uses his whole body to press Link into the wall is a mix between a choke and a sob. 

Boldly, Link presses back, uses his hips and his hands to push Rhett away. Rhett stumbles on his feet. Normally, Link would reach to steady him, help him before he falls, but Link is mad now, he’s mad enough to spit. 

“Fuck you, Rhett.”

Rhett freezes where he stands. Heaving, Link reaches out and shoves the other man’s shoulders. He does it again and again until Rhett is all the way across the loft and tripping into a chair heavily. His friend doesn’t fight back.

They don’t do this. They never fight like this. They get mad, they say things they don’t mean sometimes, but they never get this intense. Link has insulted Rhett before and Rhett has always given it right back, but at the end of the day, they apologize and get over it, friendship stronger because they got through another bump in the road. 

But this is personal. Rhett is twisting everything around and making Link see red. This is not his fault. None of this is _his fault_. No matter what he was thinking earlier, self-deprecating and wallowing, this is not his fault. 

“You made me go to that _stupid_ fair, Rhett. You dragged me into that tent,” he growls and shoves Rhett one more time. The chair skids a little on the floor, not going far under Rhett’s weight. Link can be strong enough when he wants. 

“Link—” Rhett is wide eyed and breathing hard. 

Link yanks his glasses off his face and rubs at his wet eyes. 

“You know we’ve been tiptoeing over a line for years. And now that we’ve crossed it, we can’t go back so don’t blame me. It’s not my fault, Rhett! You broke me first.” Link avoids Rhett’s glare. But he can feel it; he can feel it boring holes into his face and burning him up. 

The admission makes heat bloom across his cheeks. He digs the heels of his hands into his eyes and sniffles. This is all too much too fast.

“We have families to consider. This isn’t some other universe where they don’t exist. Those other versions of us don’t live in this lifetime, Rhett.” Link’s chest constricts; he feels like a hypocrite, an addict, a _liar_. 

“Link, don’t try to ignore this,” Rhett says, hitch in his breath as he speaks. “You told me yourself that there were times similar to this one—”

“Shut up,” Link spits. Rhett furiously stands and pushes Link hard enough that he stumbles. 

“You shut up, Link!” Rhett backs him up, chest to chest, and glares right at Link. Link takes a step back, tripping over the rug before turning and heading for the steps. He can’t deal with this anymore, not today, not tonight. “Don’t run away again!” Rhett’s voice is getting louder and louder. 

Heart pounding in his chest, Link stops on the top step. Rhett kicks something and it clatters loudly to the floor. When he looks over his shoulder, he sees the chair lying on its side. 

“I know you want this, Link, don’t tell me you don’t,” Rhett says harshly. The tension charging the air between them is palpable, makes the hair on the back of Link’s neck stand. He rubs at it fitfully. “It’s not fair that we can be together in all those other times but not this one. Why’s this universe so different?” 

Link breathes sharply, looks to Rhett one more time, then leaves. He’s down the steps and out the office door as fast as his feet can get him there. He does not stop until the parking lot door is slamming behind him and he can lean against it, chest heaving and lungs hurting with every gasp of air he takes. 

*

Link arrives home to a quiet house. He looks at his watch, concerned about the lack of noise at six on a Monday evening. Honestly, he’s grateful for it. His mind is blank, he’s tired, but most of all he’s guilty. 

Patting his pockets, Link curses when he realizes he left his phone in the office. It’s probably for the best; he doesn’t want to deal with Rhett right now. Or he doesn’t think he _can_ deal with Rhett. He knows that Rhett was right, knows it like he knows the back of his own hand, but he doesn’t want to face it. 

Link trudges up the stairs after realizing not only did he leave his phone, he left all of his things; bag, laptop, jacket, everything. Groaning, he shoves open the bedroom door, immediately goes to the bed, and flops down into the soft mattress. The coolness of the duvet soothes him. He could fall asleep just like this, sinking into the covers, letting the day seep away the longer he lies there. 

But when he closes his eyes, all he can see is the anger in Rhett’s expression. Link hurt him, he knows this to be true above everything else. He hurt his best friend twice in the span of a few days. 

Link doesn’t understand how they can come back from all of this. He’s seen too much, experienced too much and too little at the same time, and he has run away when he should have stayed put more than once now.

The front door opens downstairs. 

Link sucks in a breath and stills on the bed. His heart begins to race again while he lies there listening to the front door slam shut and shoes echoing on the hardwood flooring, all the way up the steps, and stopping at the bedroom door. 

“Link, what are you doing?” Christy asks. Link deflates into the mattress. He got hopeful all of a sudden thinking maybe Rhett came to find him so they could fix this.

He sighs and rolls onto his back. “’m tired, Christy. It was a long day.” He doesn’t lie, but he doesn’t go in to detail either. He avoids her eyes when he slides off the bed and sits on the edge. 

“Oh. Rhett?” She asks softly. Link nods and crosses his arms over his chest so his hands won’t shake. “I talked to Jess today.” Link whips his head up. She’s worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and shifting on her high heels. 

“And?” he questions. He wants to know what Jessie had to say about everything, if Rhett really didn’t tell her what happened yet.

“She said Rhett isn’t acting right. Hasn’t been since y'all got home. But that he came home late last night, after y’all—talked,” she clears her throat when she says it. “After the two of you talked, and he didn’t speak to her for the rest of the night or this morning.”

Link nods. It isn’t unusual for Rhett to clam up during a time of emotional distress, especially with his wife. The two of them have talked about it for hours before, in a hush so no one would hear them speaking. He never understood why Rhett couldn’t talk about things with his wife but could turn to Link in a heartbeat. 

“Link, she agrees with me,” Christy finally says. She comes into the room and joins him on the bed. “Something happened with the two of you. Something has changed, and it all started with that fight you keep talkin’ about.” 

Her words are a punch to the gut. 

“Please just tell me what happened. I’m not mad anymore, I don’t think so anyway,” she pleads. Link’s guilt washed over him in a fresh wave. Hot tears spring to his eyes unbidden and he sinks heavily into Christy’s shoulder. She automatically cradles his head, fingers soothing on his scalp as he closes his eyes and lets her hold him. “Baby?” She presses a kiss to his forehead. 

Link’s guilt is overwhelming. It bursts forth in hot tears that spill down his cheeks and into her dress. She shushes him and smooths his hair down and it helps, it helps so much having her hold him even though he’s the worst person in the room. 

“I fucked it all up.” He tries to breathe through the guilt rushing through him but he can’t. His secrets are ready to combust, while he cries in the arms of his wife. 

It’s not fair, _it’s not fair_.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks for commenting and the love everyone! and as usual, thanks so much to sass for beta-ing for me!!

On Wednesday, Link uses Christy’s phone to call up Stevie. He fake coughs his way through an excuse about being sick and apologizes profusely for not coming in; they’ll have to work without him. Stevie understands but still gives him a stern reprimand for giving her last minute notice. 

He would feel bad but his guilt is all run out today. 

With tired eyes and even heavier limbs, Link starts his day. Christy takes the kids to school, tells him of her plans for the day that he doesn’t listen to before she leaves, and then it’s finally blessedly silent. She’ll be gone all day so he can really focus on the quiet. When she leaves, he sits on the edge of the bed for a few moments, thinking about what he wants to do now that he’s alone. 

He wishes he had his phone. His fingers twitch, itching to find something to do, beginning to drive him crazy. After a moment, the bedroom door nudges open; it’s Jade. She greets him happily with her tail wagging and her ears perking up at the sight of her dad. 

“Jade,” Link mumbles. He wiggles his fingers to get her to come to him and she does, trotting over and jumping on the bed next to him. He pats her head soothingly, rubs that favorite spot behind her ears, and just watches her. “What’re we gonna do today, girl?” She licks his hand in answer.

Link smiles and gathers the dog up so he can snuggle her tightly, pressing kisses into her soft hair. He feels better already. Putting her down, Link stands, stretches, and looks around the bedroom. He spots a wrinkled towel draped over the bathroom doorknob and immediately knows what he’s going to do.

*

Link starts with the upstairs master bathroom. He changes into ratty clothes, gets his rubber gloves on that Rhett once made fun of him for—it hurts to think about—and gets out every cleaning agent he owns; every sponge, mop, and duster in a bucket ready to be used. 

He’s talked about cleaning being therapeutic on the show before, but he’s never had the need to clean every inch of the house like this. The guilt and the anger are fighting a losing battle in his mind, and the only way to quell either of them is to keep busy. The bathroom isn’t even dirty. But he scrubs at every invisible spot and miniscule speck of dirt anyway. He uses an old toothbrush to get in between the floor tiles and the corners of the shower, old dishrags to make the sinks and counters shine, and cleaner that smells like a pine forest on every other surface he can reach. By the time he’s finished, an hour has passed and his hands are shaking only slightly. 

Jade followed Link into the bathroom half an hour ago and watched him. She whined for attention, but Link didn’t give it to her; instead, he scrubbed harder at a piece of dirt stuck in the grout. Now that he’s finished, he turns to her and she wags her tail. 

“Come on, let’s get started on the bedroom.” Link hops up, grabs his bucket, and goes with Jade right on his heels. 

Link isn’t sure how long he works on the bedroom, only that he gets absorbed in what he is doing. It relaxes him; takes his mind elsewhere, lets him not think about the events of the last week and a half. He dusts, fluffs the pillows more than once and rearranges the closet; then, he does everything again until he’s satisfied. 

After, he makes his way around the whole upstairs of the house. It’s hard work and his entire body is sore and sweaty by the time he looks at the clock in the hall and sees the time. Huffing, he flops to the hardwood on his back, arms and legs spread wide. It’s only lunch time.

Jade sits by him and licks his nose. Link swats at her half-heartedly and groans. The sound echoes in the otherwise quiet hallway. He’s left alone with his thoughts and he doesn’t like it, misses the droning buzz the distraction of cleaning gave him. Jade whimpers and paws at his arm.

“Downstairs?” He looks over at her like she can answer him. “Let’s go, girl.” He gets to his feet, grabs his cleaning supplies, and hurries downstairs, Jade right on his heels.

*

Link skips lunch. He works from the stairs down, across the foyer, and into every room he can get to. It’s a lot of work but the cleaning soothes his mind and finally stops his hands from shaking. When he’s done scrubbing and dusting every surface and corner, he puts everything away. Jade gave up on him a couple of hours ago for her bed and a nap. 

_3:59_

Link’s eyes widen when he sees the time. The day has slipped by him, quiet and much needed. But when he has the time to shower and change, settle in his office at the computer, the guilt starts anew. His inbox is flooded with messages from Stevie, the crew, a few sponsors, and, most of all, Rhett. 

_You avoiding me, Link?_ the first one reads. It was sent this morning, after Link called Stevie. 

_Link, we have to talk_. This one two hours later. 

_Link…you can’t shut me out. It’s not fair to either of us_. This one an hour ago. Link doesn’t have to read into it too much; he knows Rhett was angry when he wrote this one. 

_I’m sorry we fought_. Twenty-three minutes ago…

Link swallows past the lump in his throat and quickly closes his inbox. There were more in between, some of them looked to be longer and more drawn out, but Link can’t handle those right now. His guilt has begun to eat away at him again, starting fresh in his gut and working its way up to his throat. It’s like an itch he can’t scratch but desperately wants to claw his skin off to try. 

He taps his fingers on the desk lightly and chews on his bottom lip in thought. Rhett is right: he can’t shut the other man out. It isn’t fair to either of them. But Link can’t think about their last exchange without his lungs constricting and his throat closing up. He was harsh, harsher than he’s ever been, _angrier_ than he’s ever been. 

Considering what to do, Link rocks back in his office chair and stares at the ceiling. It’s too white, too bright, and instantly he’s reminded of a hallway, with its blank walls and blinding light. He blinks against the sudden onslaught of tears clouding his vision. Trying to quell the thoughts racing through his mind, he begins to spin the chair around while staring at the ceiling. 

Maybe if he just...

_If I spin fast enough maybe it’ll all go away_. 

The chair picks up speed and when he gets it going fast enough, he picks his feet up off the floor. For a moment, he feels like a kid again. The ceiling becomes a blur and his stomach begins to feel queasy.

“You’ll make yourself sick.”

Link drags his feet so hard against the floor in surprise, the chair jerks to a halt and almost sends him tumbling to the floor. His stomach churns dangerously so he closes his eyes and grabs it, willing the nasty feeling there to go away. He stays this way for several moments. 

When Link opens his eyes, Rhett is standing in the doorway to the office. He’s tall and looming and haggard looking. His beard hasn’t been groomed today and his hair has lost its usually perfect coif. But he looks—

Rhett looks _defeated_. 

Link swallows hard. Now that his eyes have stopped swimming and his stomach stopped churning, he can really look at the other man. His eyes are sad and red-rimmed, the wrinkles on his forehead more pronounced where he’s furrowing his brow, and his mouth is turned down in a deep frown. All of it makes him seem older than his forty-one years somehow. 

“What are you doing here?” Link asks softly. The guilt, the anger, everything comes flooding back, nearly upending him from his chair. But he pushes it all down and focuses solely on a spot over Rhett’s shoulder instead. There’s a framed picture by the light switch, one of he and Christy, smiling and happy before all of this happened. Quickly, he focuses on another spot, one that’s empty and solid white, one that doesn’t remind him of his guilt. 

“You forgot your phone,” Rhett answers coolly, holding said phone out in front of him. “And your bag. It’s downstairs. I—I wanted to see you. Um, Christy called Jess. She and the kids are havin’ one big sleepover tonight.” He lays the phone down on the nearest surface and avoids Link’s face. “That way we can, uh, we can work things out.” Rhett swallows and Link tries not to stare at the way it makes his throat bob.

“Thanks,” Link says instead, but doesn’t move to get his phone. It’s too close to Rhett, too close for comfort right now. He doesn’t know what to say so he spins his chair around and idly taps around on the computer mouse. The clicking distracts him for a moment, long enough that he hopes Rhett will leave, get the hint that he doesn’t want to talk. 

Link can hear Rhett’s feet shuffling on the hardwood, hears a heavy sigh from his chest, and then he’s moving across the floor. Link tries not to look at his reflection on the computer screen as he gets closer. 

“Link—” Rhett starts, but Link shakes his head and bolts out of his chair across the room. He’s out of the office and heading up the stairs in no time. He doesn’t stop speeding through the house until he’s locking himself in the bedroom. He can hear Rhett stomping up the stairs and coming down the hallway, only stopping when he is outside the door. 

Link leans on the locked door with his hands trembling on his knees as he hunches over. Rhett is knocking insistently on the other side. 

“Go away,” Link groans. The pleasant buzz cleaning brought to him has disappeared fast, leaving him with the ache that’s been simmering under the surface since this all began. It’s beginning to bloom, take over his entire body, leaving him squeezing his eyes as tightly as possible. 

“No,” Rhett says stubbornly. A grunt, a groan, and a thud, and Link figures Rhett must’ve slid to the floor. “Sit with me, Link. Just—just stop being so damn stubborn and sit with me.” Rhett sighs loudly and knocks on the door again. 

“No,” Link says back. 

“_Link_.”

Link huffs and rolls his eyes. He considers it for a moment, tries to decide if he wants to sit. It’s not like he has anywhere else to go, unless he gets brave and climbs out the two story window. The thought makes him snort. 

“You can’t climb out the window, Link. It’s too high, you’ll freak out,” Rhett mumbles. Link’s chest constricts. They know each other so well. 

Giving up, Link slides down the door and hits the floor with a loud grunt. He stretches his legs out in front of him and leans his head on the door, sighs. 

“Fine, I’m sitting with you.” Link knocks his knuckles on the door to get Rhett’s attention. They both go silent. Link can hear Rhett breathing heavily on the other side of the door, occasionally shifting around and huffing. 

“Link,” Rhett starts. Link stiffens, waits impatiently to hear what Rhett’s going to say. “Link, I’m sorry. Can we please—”

Link cuts him off quickly. “Don’t apologize. It’s my fault,” he says, voice wavering. 

Rhett tries to argue with him, but Link doesn’t let him. This is his fault. He’s the guilty party, he’s the one that ran away twice, he’s the one that shut Rhett out, he’s the one that said harsh words and even harsher actions. 

The guilt subsides some, but Link still feels it itching under his skin uncomfortably. 

“I’m not ready to talk, Rhett. But I’ll listen, if you…if you need to.” Link swallows and closes his eyes. There’s an _I missed you, I’m sorry_ on the tip of his tongue but he keeps it at bay and waits for Rhett to speak. 

_Please don’t hate me_, he thinks as he waits. _Please don’t tell me I ruined this_. 

Link holds his breath, terrified that his best friend of thirty-five years came here to apologize then dump him and walk out of his life forever. He wouldn’t be able to handle it if they parted ways, family and everything they built together be damned. 

_I love you, don’t hate me, don’t leave me_. 

Finally, Rhett begins to speak and Link listens.


	12. Chapter 12

When Rhett speaks he does it softly. Link has to press his ear to the door to hear, but once he does he listens attentively, won’t interrupt for fear of saying something stupid or ridiculous that might ruin this even further. 

“You know how I always tell that story, the one ‘bout when I was in Kindergarten in Georgia?” Rhett begins. Link nods even though Rhett can’t see it. His chest hitches a little every time he inhales. “I’ve always been so interested in spirituality and fate, Link, you know that. But I—” He pauses and Link holds his breath. He wants to say something, anything, but he’s still scared. 

Rhett takes a deep breath on the other side and continues. “I’ve never thought, for one second, that you’re not s’pose to be in my life. You’re _meant_ to be in my life, Link, and I’m meant to be in yours.” Link swallows past a lump rising in his throat. “We were s’pose to meet, I don’t doubt it at all. I’m just--I’m scared.”

_Of what?_

Link is the one that’s supposed to be scared. He’s the one that has been experiencing all of this, and sometimes it’s felt like he’s been completely alone in it, but why would Rhett be scared? Rhett isn’t the one that saw the lives the two of them are leading other places, he isn’t the one that had to suffer through it. But maybe he has been suffering. Link shut him--_his best friend_\--out, came back to him, only to leave him again. 

“All’a this happened, Link, and I’m terrified that we--_what if we don’t last_?” Rhett’s voice trails off and Link swears he hears a stutter in his breath and a sniffle. 

Link doesn’t need to hear anymore. He stands quickly and shakes out the jitters he’s feeling. Rhett is crazy if he thinks they won’t last. They’re meant to be in each other’s lives, he said so himself. And Link will be damned if Rhett thinks they won’t. No matter what happens, they are meant to stay together, in some way, shape, or form. 

“Link? You’re awful quiet in there,” Rhett says, louder than before. 

Taking a deep breath, Link jerks open the door. Rhett flounders for a moment, gasping as he tries to right himself on the door frame. Link rolls his eyes and sticks a hand out for Rhett. He takes it and uses it to help himself stand, Link blatantly ignoring the sizzle that rushes through his veins at Rhett’s touch. 

Feeling bold, feeling honest, Link begins to speak, barreling right over Rhett whose mouth is open, ready to say something else. 

“Did I tell you ‘bout the one where we got married?” he asks right away. He doesn’t give Rhett time to answer before he’s moving on. “Or the one where we had kids?” Rhett’s eyebrows shoot high. Link ignores the fresh wave of guilt; it hurts just to talk about it when has _this_ life right in front of him. “What about the one on my wedding day, and you couldn’t stop lookin’ at _me_ the whole time?”

Link surges forward, crowds Rhett against the wall, only stops when they are close enough to touch. “Did I tell ya what I saw before I woke up?” He watches Rhett’s expression, sees it shift from one emotion to another: guilt, surprise, more guilt, love, surprise again. Link barrels on and doesn’t give him the chance to speak yet. “It was—” he pauses, takes the opportunity for a breath, “It was us, in first grade. The one day that started all of this, right before I woke up, like it was a reminder that no matter what, we’re Rhett and Link.” 

When Link finishes he has to suck in a breath, feels like his lungs are burning. His hands are trembling by his sides as he stares where Rhett is leaning heavily against the wall, breathing ragged, hands braced behind him. 

“Rhett,” Link says. Rhett _hmm_’s but doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move. “Do you ever wish,” a swallow and a heavy sigh, “that we had started something? With us?” Link can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth, but at the same time they feel right. At some point in time he did wish that he was braver, more outspoken, when it came to Rhett. Maybe they wouldn’t be in this position, maybe they would be just like the other Rhett’s and Link’s, living in their own bubble in an entirely different universe. 

Rhett pushes away from the wall suddenly and comes to stand closer to Link until they’re chest to chest. Link staggers back some but steady hands grab him around the biceps and set him straight. A blush blooms across his cheeks at how close they are. Rhett towers over him like he always does. His hands are strong on Link’s arms and his eyes are a stormy grey-green as he gazes down at Link. 

“Link, I’ve always, _always_, wondered what woulda happened if we had just waited, grew up a little,” Rhett sighs and drops his hands to his sides. “Maybe if we realized some things a little sooner. But I’ll take you however the universe wants us, Link.” 

Mind reeling and chest constricting, Link rocks up on his toes, slides a hand around the back of Rhett’s neck, and crashes their mouths together. It feels right and it settles something inside of him. These last couple of weeks have really taken a toll on the both of them, but especially Link. His insides have been twisted and his soul wrecked, but now, like this, fingers tangling in Rhett’s hair and a groan working its way out of his throat, he feels _better_. 

Rhett’s hands find their way under his shirt and his fingertips tease along his sides, dragging the shirt with them. Link steps back only far enough for the garment to come off and be flung to the floor. Rhett’s hands on his skin leave him with a dizzying amount of want and need, and Rhett’s lips landing on his cheek makes him shudder and moan. Rhett plants kisses along his jaw until he’s at Link’s ear. 

“D’you wanna stop?” he murmurs, fingers teasing on Link’s ribs. Link tightens his hold in Rhett’s hair for a brief moment and Rhett pulls back enough to see him. “Tell me to stop, Link, or we can’t go back.”

_I don’t want to go back_.

Sighing, Link lets go, hands slipping down to rest on either side of Rhett’s neck, thumbs caressing on his cheeks. Link looks at him, _really_ looks at him, and knows without a doubt that he doesn’t want to stop. He never wants Rhett to stop.

“No, never,” he answers. “Don’t you dare stop.” Rhett sinks into another kiss with a wanton moan just as Link grabs the button and zipper of his jeans. With shaky and nervous fingers he pops the button and undoes the zipper carefully, while Rhett stops and quickly jerks his own shirt off. 

For a moment Link stands there, hands resting on the waistband of Rhett’s pants, listening to his heavy breathing. But Rhett doesn’t let him linger too long. He grabs Link by the cheeks, hands cradling his face gently, and kisses him. He’s more persistent this time and shuffles them backwards until Link is pressed against the edge of the bed. 

“Tell me again,” Rhett says softly. Still cradling Link’s cheeks, he looks down at him, eyes bright. 

“Rhett—“

“Tell me, Link,” Rhett cuts him off. Link’s fingers tighten around his waistband. 

“_Don’t stop_, Rhett.” Link smiles at Rhett’s shaky inhale. “We’ve waited long enough.” That being said, Link surges forward into another kiss and tugs Rhett’s jeans down over his hips, as far as he can get them. Rhett kicks them off the rest of the way then does the same with Link’s bottoms. 

They’ve seen each other in multiple levels of undress before. It’s always been in the dressing room for a new episode, on vacations, in their own personal downtime. But it’s never been like this, intimate and close and because of their hands on each other. 

A shiver wracks through him when Rhett places his hands on Link’s naked waist, fingers dipping below the band of his briefs and pressing into his skin almost painfully. Link gasps, hands wrapping around Rhett’s arms to steady himself as Rhett cautiously and carefully slides his hands further. He takes the underwear with him, smoothing his palms over Link’s bottom as he goes. Link hisses when his cock is exposed to the cool air of the room. Rhett jerks the underwear off the rest of the way and Link kicks them off across the floor hastily.   
“Your turn,” Link mutters and wastes no time getting Rhett’s underwear down over his hips and thighs so they fall to the floor. 

Sighing, Rhett kisses Link. It’s soft and sweet but steadily growing more persistent the longer it lasts. Link plants his hands on Rhett’s shoulders, maneuvers them both around so he can push the other man down onto the bed. Rhett goes heavily, landing with his hands behind him and Link in his lap, knees on either side of him, both of them groaning at the touch of naked skin on naked skin. 

It’s a different feeling straddling the lap of someone bigger and less feminine. Link is the one that gets the lapful, he’s the one that gets smaller and softer hands touching everywhere they can reach. The tables have turned and now he’s the one settling in a lap, he’s the one roaming his hands over a torso with more muscle and hair. It’s all different, but he loves it all the same. 

Link pushes his hips forward so their cocks slide together, and Rhett moans low in his chest, one arm immediately coming up to wrap around his back and tug them even closer. He’s impossibly hard and every shift of his hips sends an electric shock up his spine. He doesn’t remember anything ever feeling like this and they’ve barely gotten started. He’s tingling all over, his pulse is racing, and he’s got Rhett underneath him, right where Link wants him. If they could stay like this all night he would. 

Rhett groans, “_Link_,” and jerks Link forward with his arm that’s around Link’s back. Link releases a stuttering gasp, head tilting back. Lips land on his throat and travel down, teeth nip at his flushed skin; he’s overwhelmed with the sensation of Rhett’s mouth and beard tickling along his neck and Rhett’s cock slick against his. He wants _more_. 

“God, come on, touch me, Rhett, please,” Link whines. 

Rhett pulls away and Link threads his fingers through his hair and slots their mouths together at the same time a hand wraps around both their lengths. He jerks his hips in surprise at the feel of a much larger hand on his cock, the thrill it sends through him leaving him breathless. He gasps into Rhett’s mouth and grips his hair tighter as Rhett circles a firm fist around them both. Link can’t believe how good it feels, can only shiver when Rhett pumps his hand once, tentative and gentle, and his other arm tightens around his back even more.

Link urges him on with a kiss and a short thrust of his hips. Rhett’s hand is perfect around him and they’re both slick and hot. He might be burning up from the inside but at least he’ll do it with Rhett there to catch him. From there everything dissolves into pants and moans and soft sighs, Link’s hands moving out of Rhett’s hair and over his body, back up, _everywhere_. He can’t help but touch as Rhett works them both closer to the edge. 

Finally after what feels like an eternity Link’s release starts to build in his spine and his gut. Huffing, he wraps a hand around Rhett’s and works with him in tandem. He’s almost there, it won’t take much and he will be there, tipping over the edge. Rhett thrusts up once and Link kisses him and he’s releasing over their joined hands with a low moan. Hips stilling, he holds on for dear life as he shakes and twitches, breath hitching in his throat. 

“_Fuck_,” he hisses through clenched teeth and slumps down, spent. 

Rhett isn’t far behind. He twists his hips up and spills over their hands, gasping through it. Link swallows the sound with a kiss, cupping his cheeks and smoothing his thumbs on flushed cheeks. When he’s spent Rhett falls back and drags Link with him, Link rolling to his back on the bed. 

Exhaling in satisfaction, Link hums and closes his eyes, listening to Rhett catch his breath next to him. This is it. This is where they are supposed to be. The realization isn’t startling or surprising, instead it settles something deep inside. Rhett’s hand reaches out for his own and when he finds it he squeezes Link’s and sighs loudly. 

_I love you_ and _Don’t leave me_ when Rhett squeezes again. Link can only smile and squeeze back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for liking and commenting!!!


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